Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

_VAL3NT1NA_

Search for a member

_VAL3NT1NA_
  • Town/Country : Texas
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 November 1998 (14 years)
  • Number of visits : 86
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About _VAL3NT1NA_ : The name is Val, but you can call me Val, i am here to read your FML's... Your Welcome!! =)

_VAL3NT1NA_'s last visitors

PleonasmBlitheNightmareHitMeWithMusic10alissa412chimichangaballsBadKitty14red225

_VAL3NT1NA_'s FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of _VAL3NT1NA_'s badges

_VAL3NT1NA_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

#20616232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31801) - you deserved it (4316)

On 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I removed the side rails from my truck because I didn't think I really needed them. An hour later, I went to Wal-Mart, forgot they were gone, and busted my ass in public while getting out of my truck. FML

#20615692
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15809) - you deserved it (35328)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

#20533295
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25469) - you deserved it (3106)

On 03/06/2013 at 6:51am - work - by Will this stupid fad ever end? (man) - United States

Today, my wife finally came home from deployment. Apparently, in the military she really built up some muscle. When she saw me at the airport, she picked me up like a baby and spun me around in her arms a few times. I'm a little scared of her now. FML

#20530533
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32166) - you deserved it (6773)

On 03/04/2013 at 2:36am - love - by married to wonder woman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

#20511194
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27652) - you deserved it (258)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML

Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML

#20510258
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17538) - you deserved it (13502)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22599) - you deserved it (4247)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

#20509476
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23481) - you deserved it (4933)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia

Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML

Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage". When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML

#20509033
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21835) - you deserved it (2984)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by howannoying - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

#20508952
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12675) - you deserved it (37198)

On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML

#20508609
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27474) - you deserved it (2093)

On 02/15/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML

#20508531
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21163) - you deserved it (3371)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Lara)

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

#20508270
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27885) - you deserved it (6230)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: