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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (181096) - you deserved it (8517)
On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML
I agree, your life sucks (13824) - you deserved it (53668)
On 03/10/2009 at 11:46am - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (459909) - you deserved it (571492)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (147048) - you deserved it (8922)
On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking along the street and passed a young couple. Over my shoulder I heard the girl say to her boyfriend "Would you still love me if I looked like her?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (135603) - you deserved it (8154)
On 03/07/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by Pissed Off (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (121328) - you deserved it (3827)
On 03/06/2009 at 5:20pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22601) - you deserved it (30974)
On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (387837) - you deserved it (29659)
On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (119976) - you deserved it (12009)
On 03/03/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by eaa145 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my best friend slapped me and called me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wanted to talk to me again because I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin, but I'm a lesbian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (143037) - you deserved it (9806)
On 03/01/2009 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by xo_lezz (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (987094) - you deserved it (78511)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, my boss said he was giving me a significant raise. After he requested the payroll department to raise my salary they informed him he needed to fill out a one-sheet form. He took my raise away because he didn't want to fill out that sheet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55657) - you deserved it (1720)
On 02/27/2009 at 6:05pm - work - by anabolic (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (204715) - you deserved it (44779)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I just studied for 13.5 hours completely outlining a book for history. Thirty minutes before the test, I realized I had been reading the wrong book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28603) - you deserved it (30891)
On 02/23/2009 at 10:32am - work - by Nic (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
I agree, your life sucks (117582) - you deserved it (8395)
On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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