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_TONGAN_'s favorite FMLs
by person123abc / 12/09/2010 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, a customer tried to pay for a $1.55 cup of coffee with a gift card, but he came up a dollar short. He let another customer through while he fumbled in his pocket for money. I later noticed a dollar had disappeared from my tip jar. FML
by barista / 12/05/2010 at 12:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML
by chi-huaHUA / 12/04/2010 at 2:08am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 1:50am / Singapore / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up, and he came by to get his things while I was at work. When I got home I saw that the only thing he had taken was my cat. I only dated him for 5 months, I've had that cat for 14 years. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 12:20am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 5:01am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
by fulloshit / 11/27/2010 at 9:17pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/27/2010 at 12:57am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by blenderbookf / 11/25/2010 at 1:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Heyy / 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 12:29pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by lorrilanee / 11/20/2010 at 1:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I found out that people can get ringworm from cats. I found out because I have ringworm. I don't have a cat. Then I remembered I helped a friend move about two weeks ago, and spent the night sharing a bed with her cat. That's the last time I ever help her move. FML
by Anonymous / 11/16/2010 at 2:13am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Health
Today, on the subway, a little tipsy, I sat down next to a guy I thought was cute, hoping to enjoy some harmless flirting. I said, "Hello." He said, "May I ask you a question?" I said, "Sure." He said, "Can you please move away from me?" FML
by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 12:48am / United States (New York) / Transportation
by iharethissomuxh / 11/11/2010 at 12:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…