Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

_THE_MASTER_

Search for a member

_THE_MASTER_

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 April 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1924
  • Number of comments : 396
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

_THE_MASTER_'s page activity

Visits<b>bshefler</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 8:45pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 2:08pm<b>jasmine125</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:09pm<b>_GreenArrow_</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:47pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 3:34pm<b>Micah_Nobot</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 7:18pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 7:52pm<b>XArmyof1x</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 11:35pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 9:18pm<b>Rob4614</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 5:04am<b>KristaleFaith</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 5:46pm<b>tilted_sunlight</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 10:10pm<b>WiseGirl98</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 5:59pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 12:26pm<b>MissSwift</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 4:18pm<b>Sawabear</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 11:59pm<b>tristan2004</b> - the 06/15/2012 at 7:40am<b>RadikulRam</b> - the 06/14/2012 at 8:37pm

_THE_MASTER_'s FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

_THE_MASTER_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

#2039933
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15398) - you deserved it (51648)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

#2030761
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92810) - you deserved it (22173)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

#1972272
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58889) - you deserved it (23409)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76659) - you deserved it (23362)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26825) - you deserved it (95536)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML

#1694711
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63375) - you deserved it (5729)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98073) - you deserved it (22500)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

#1687586
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13463) - you deserved it (56213)

On 05/06/2009 at 10:07am - animals - by pissedoffandon (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57230) - you deserved it (19937)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

#1631197
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25705) - you deserved it (69738)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML

#259596
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83922) - you deserved it (26741)

On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell in love with a girl on the internet, she's great and funny. She says she's 16, but everyone keeps telling me she's only 11 and that I'm a pedophile. FML

#781
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7411) - you deserved it (35055)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by Sidney - United Kingdom (London)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: