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_THE_MASTER_

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_THE_MASTER_
  • Town/Country : Port Chester, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 April 1987 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 1769
  • Number of comments : 396
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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_THE_MASTER_'s favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

#5721676
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72557) - you deserved it (5306)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML

#5622271
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32846) - you deserved it (5120)

On 10/03/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML

#5598991
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31301) - you deserved it (9746)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by asshole (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I left home to start my new life at University. Saying goodbye to my mother, the last thing she said to me was "Don't turn gay". I'm gay. FML

#5562367
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46739) - you deserved it (9773)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML

#5527789
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6548) - you deserved it (92058)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:31pm - work - by SucksToBeMe (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

#4957088
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33290) - you deserved it (7494)

On 08/31/2009 at 5:18pm - misc - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

#4874486
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44368) - you deserved it (6022)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12992) - you deserved it (62167)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend's. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining "Now I have to clean the damn couch." I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML

#4356105
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77150) - you deserved it (6123)

On 08/07/2009 at 4:55am - love - by notsomuchinlove (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

#4275637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40677) - you deserved it (17971)

On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61168) - you deserved it (4976)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML

#4188521
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38962) - you deserved it (8179)

On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled over for the first time. When the officer came up to my window, I immediately burst out into tears due to nervousness. He kept asking me for my licence and registration. Hysterical, I wasn't able to comply. He arrested me for not cooperating. FML

#3783487
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16818) - you deserved it (45755)

On 07/15/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by daisyann (woman) - United States (Texas)



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