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_LapisLazuli_

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_LapisLazuli_

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 463
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About _LapisLazuli_ : I love anime, manga, and video games. I also like mlp.

_LapisLazuli_'s page activity

Visits<b>Chokobolt</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 11:03am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 9:36am<b>Dumbledore91</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 11:11pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 12:22am

_LapisLazuli_'s FML badges

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_LapisLazuli_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I turned in my best painting yet for a scholarship competition. For once in my life, I was actually proud of a piece I'd done. I ended up losing the scholarship to some dickface who'd basically just glued together some crap from the dollar store and called it conceptual art. FML

#21132527
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42263) - you deserved it (5026)

On 05/06/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by assgoblins piss me off (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49742) - you deserved it (18118)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37300) - you deserved it (4948)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40077) - you deserved it (7704)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

#20774208
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51719) - you deserved it (7633)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she felt that her puppy was lonely while we dated. FML

#20771661
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48430) - you deserved it (4582)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

#20771337
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47948) - you deserved it (3151)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by Garchomp (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52393) - you deserved it (9088)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML

#20766909
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46729) - you deserved it (18759)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by BlueB (man) - United States

Today, my daughter asked me to get her razors. When my 19-year-old son saw them he asked what they were for, to which my daughter replied, "For my armpits." My son then said, "Girls don't grow armpit hair." FML

#20764467
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44567) - you deserved it (6299)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:59am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

#20761976
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42818) - you deserved it (3161)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML

#20761555
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52587) - you deserved it (17034)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

#20760666
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64663) - you deserved it (5185)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm - love - by Jenn (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

#20759193
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24185) - you deserved it (62685)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44658) - you deserved it (8828)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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