Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 01/19/2014 at 3:36pm) | Search for a member
About _G0D_ : I am God, creator of mankind, creator of all. Bow before my almighty powers. If you are an atheist you shall belief. If you are a believer remember thy Ten Commandments of Holiness.
1.Thou shall not have any other gods before Me.
2.Thou shall not make any graven images unto thee.
3.Thou shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
4.Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
5.Honor thy father, and thy mother.
6.Thou shall not kill.
7.Thou shall not commit adultery.
8.Thou shall not steal.
9.Thou shall not bear false witness aganist thy neighbor.
10.Thou shall not covet.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML
Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML
Friday 30 January 2015