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Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45605) - you deserved it (4027)
On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States
Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70119) - you deserved it (2668)
On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84837) - you deserved it (4587)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47196) - you deserved it (5891)
On 05/03/2013 at 8:13am - intimacy - by Who1s269 (man) - United States
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63057) - you deserved it (6891)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63812) - you deserved it (5695)
On 04/21/2013 at 6:20am - intimacy - by loving wife - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16273) - you deserved it (27251)
On 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30785) - you deserved it (6206)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28778) - you deserved it (6421)
On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9364) - you deserved it (38908)
On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33658) - you deserved it (2885)
On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16978) - you deserved it (32266)
On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43687) - you deserved it (4299)
On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45271) - you deserved it (7295)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19146) - you deserved it (2176)
On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)
Monday 17 June 2013
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