_Damien_

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_Damien_

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 June 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2382
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About _Damien_ : SENIORRRRRR BBY!!

_Damien_'s page activity

Visits<b>Erin2009</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 11:49pm<b>ozzy7899</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 5:36pm<b>footcheezeez</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 1:09pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:41pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 7:02am<b>Alpha35</b> - the 12/23/2010 at 1:50am<b>velvel</b> - the 11/21/2010 at 5:01pm<b>frenchboy95</b> - the 09/29/2010 at 6:14pm<b>QTp13</b> - the 09/21/2010 at 3:40pm<b>cwark</b> - the 08/23/2010 at 1:10pm<b>1337_RoXxXor</b> - the 04/08/2010 at 4:19pm<b>hereisnowhy</b> - the 03/21/2010 at 5:46pm

_Damien_'s FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

_Damien_'s favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend decided he hates my male best friend because they have "conflicting interests." My best friend's response? "What's his gamertag so I can shoot him in Halo?" FML

by MissTrix / 10/28/2010 at 8:58pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Geek

Today, I was in lying in bed with my boyfriend while he was asleep. He is going to school to be a doctor, and it appears that he says anatomical terms while asleep. My boyfriend can make me feel stupid in his sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 7:17pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 3:31am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML

by badteacher / 10/24/2010 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was shaving my left armpit when I cut myself badly. I wondered whether or not it would be safe to shave my right armpit, then reasoned that it couldn’t possibly happen twice. It did. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 6:57am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

by fungettingdressed / 10/12/2010 at 8:57am / United States / Intimacy

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2010 at 9:47am / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML

by lyssuhhhh / 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone / 09/23/2010 at 7:01am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I dropped my iPod Touch underneath concrete slab steps, and it's physically impossible to get it back. If you stand above where the iPod is, you can still hear it play music. It's like it's mocking me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2010 at 7:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

by Thomas / 09/20/2010 at 3:16am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2010 at 2:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was asked to crawl through a sun roof because one of my co workers locked her keys in her car. After I got the keys, instead of opening the car door, I climbed back out through the sun roof. To laughter. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2010 at 8:10pm / United States (California) / Transportation