Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

_3_ThatOneGuy_3_

Offline (the 03/11/2014 at 5:32am) | Search for a member

_3_ThatOneGuy_3_

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 84
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About _3_ThatOneGuy_3_ : Love Photography. Nebraska, USA.

Have you ever noticed that vaginas and school both have six letters and are completely empty holes of nothing that can hold screaming children for 9 months.

_3_ThatOneGuy_3_'s page activity

Visits<b>JuzReading</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 3:41am<b>fancypotato</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 8:35pm<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 11:41am<b>Kirito_Kazuto</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 4:12pm<b>ashkwalliy</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 11:02am<b>JustClaire95</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 4:51pm<b>persianninja</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 6:24am<b>black_sorcerer30</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 4:38am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 1:03am

_3_ThatOneGuy_3_'s FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of _3_ThatOneGuy_3_'s badges

_3_ThatOneGuy_3_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML

#21127987
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40024) - you deserved it (6967)

On 05/01/2014 at 1:31pm - misc - by booty backfire - United States

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

#21124338
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43060) - you deserved it (6038)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Shit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40279) - you deserved it (16857)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

#21122867
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49586) - you deserved it (9929)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

#21116600
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30472) - you deserved it (38166)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

#21116585
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39261) - you deserved it (4360)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25324) - you deserved it (42947)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38182) - you deserved it (11402)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a week after moving into my new house, I'm seriously considering suing the previous occupant. He failed to mention how the neighbor has his own band and rehearses every other day until 2am. Their music is so bad, it sounds like the wailing of a cat being tortured to death. FML

#21105113
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35661) - you deserved it (5002)

On 04/05/2014 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30192) - you deserved it (16177)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51163) - you deserved it (5378)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

#16556995
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44246) - you deserved it (12887)

On 06/08/2011 at 1:21am - intimacy - by kimboslice106 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to take a pair of scissors to all my bras. My mom can't take me shopping for another three days and I have no one to borrow a bra from. I have school. FML

#16003587
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38129) - you deserved it (3917)

On 05/01/2011 at 12:11pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML

#14179571
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6248) - you deserved it (107950)

On 12/12/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by dumbass1991 (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: