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ZzZLightningZzZ

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ZzZLightningZzZ

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  • Number of visits : 431
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ZzZLightningZzZ's page activity

Visits<b>hamiltonma</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 2:38pm

ZzZLightningZzZ's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

ZzZLightningZzZ's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26743) - you deserved it (4643)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, I had to sit through an entire movie where every time a new character was introduced, the guy sitting behind me would say, "My name is Jeff." FML

#21438229
71 comments

Today, my father passed away. I called my boss to let him know about the situation. His only response before hanging up: "Shit, dude. Well, I'll see you in the morning, these reports won't write themselves." FML

#21414400
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31377) - you deserved it (1674)

On 05/23/2015 at 10:50am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that maggots can live inside of a saxophone. FML

#21406781
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27436) - you deserved it (3727)

On 05/08/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by McWhopper - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a coworker and I pulled a April Fools' joke on our boss. She "borrowed" his keys and rolled down his window. I took a car window from a scrap yard and sprinkled it on the ground near his door. His response was to kick the nearest object in anger. The nearest object happened to be my car. FML

#21385709
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24207) - you deserved it (9862)

On 04/01/2015 at 1:46pm - work - by TecheyTim - United States (New York)

Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML

#21356827
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37000) - you deserved it (2614)

On 02/15/2015 at 5:39pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37592) - you deserved it (9371)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41943) - you deserved it (11696)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

#21262000
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35976) - you deserved it (2672)

On 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm - misc - by rabid_otaku - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

#21253357
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39033) - you deserved it (2787)

On 09/06/2014 at 11:06pm - animals - by Meowit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36336) - you deserved it (9068)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48426) - you deserved it (4005)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML

#21231691
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27786) - you deserved it (39930)

On 08/07/2014 at 11:36am - health - by Dancing King (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

#21218479
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54383) - you deserved it (4786)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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