About Zx6r : Well i have a Zx6r 636 (bad ass motorcycle) and im pretty much a beast :) im 6\'1 200 lbs who says you have to be fat to like cake
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Today, my daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells like fish." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32059) - you deserved it (11096)
On 12/06/2010 at 9:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21447) - you deserved it (6472)
On 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50610) - you deserved it (6762)
On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -
Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10258) - you deserved it (31478)
On 10/24/2010 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9691) - you deserved it (40071)
On 10/24/2010 at 1:26am - kids - by badteacher (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8775) - you deserved it (25946)
On 10/24/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by stickyface (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30483) - you deserved it (2844)
On 10/24/2010 at 12:11am - love - by altocrm - Sent from mobile version
Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23924) - you deserved it (4297)
On 10/23/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year old guy. My boss is a 50 year old woman. I desperately need this job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25070) - you deserved it (2900)
On 10/21/2010 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15305) - you deserved it (18523)
On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31434) - you deserved it (6360)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7090) - you deserved it (19137)
On 10/16/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by meegs (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18794) - you deserved it (7228)
On 10/11/2010 at 2:00am - health - by cdubb27 - United States (California)
Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6616) - you deserved it (26660)
On 10/11/2010 at 12:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6616) - you deserved it (26660)
On 10/11/2010 at 12:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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