Zvonimir

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Zvonimir

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 April 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 984
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zvonimir's page activity

Visits<b>spoenza</b> - the 09/07/2011 at 8:17am

Zvonimir's FML badges

50 favourites

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Mobility

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Zvonimir's favorite FMLs

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

by a4rk / 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm / Malaysia (Sarawak) / Work

Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML

by hotpatata / 07/06/2012 at 11:03am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to live with her father because they have a faster internet connection. FML

by grrr1234 / 07/01/2012 at 12:00pm / Kids

Today, not only does my cat rabidly attack my face if I don't let him sleep on my pillow, but he snores too. FML

by emi / 07/01/2012 at 12:30am / Animals

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

by ILoveAnimals / 06/11/2012 at 3:14am / Austria (Wien) / Animals

Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML

by fordneagles / 06/11/2012 at 1:56am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was running late and couldn't find my purse anywhere. My sleep-deprived brain came up with the brilliant idea of trying to phone it. FML

by PEGASISTER FOR LIIIIIIIIFFFFFEEEEE!!!!! / 06/08/2012 at 5:30pm / Mexico / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

by XxEmoWolfiexX / 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

by smh / 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I was getting a bit chubbier than usual. I decided to go for a little jog to stay in shape. Little did I know, my neighbors that just moved in brought along with them, a fully grown German Shepherd. Not tamed. My "jog" quickly turned into a "sprint for my life". FML

by I Don't Exorcise / 05/09/2012 at 11:34pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals

Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML

by Bridget / 05/06/2012 at 2:01pm / United Kingdom / Love