Zound680

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Zound680

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 January 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 340
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Zound680 : My life is being run by two evil chinchillas. For I, am their Human Slave.

I love extremely weird people because I'm weird.

Human Slave by Day. Ninja by Night.

I recently stabbed a man in the chest 58 times with a spoon. Yes. A Spoon.

Any Questions? Comments? or Concerns? You may ask the person behind curtain #4.

When you're driving be sure to check your backseat. I will not be there.

Zound680's page activity

Visits<b>JBChristian</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 6:06pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:34am<b>EverettA</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 10:38am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:25pm

Zound680's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Zound680's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm recovering from a brain injury that occurred a few months ago. The newest challenge I'm facing is thinking the floor is moving any time there is a change in colour or texture. My house has patterned tile floors and carpet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2016 at 7:41pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML

by billjoebob424 / 03/09/2016 at 7:01pm / Canada / Love

Today, my husband, who has been in a coma for 5 weeks, woke up. When I went to visit him, the first thing he did was try and continue the argument we had been having before he crashed the car. FML

by anonymous / 02/25/2016 at 4:55pm / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

by leahrb / 02/24/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate made out with this guy I kind of had a thing for. It wasn't a big deal to sober me, but drunk me wasn't having it. I drank half a bottle of vodka, punched a hole in a wall, and cried while laying on the floor. FML

by stupid drunk bitch / 02/24/2016 at 1:37pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend moved in with me. I just walked into my kitchen to find my thirty year-old, perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet completely submerged in soapy water in the sink, presumably from last night when he washed the dishes. FML

by miss_strauss / 01/25/2016 at 1:21pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my son became convinced that his father cheated and we put the fertilized egg inside me to cover the whole thing up. He won't stop calling me "host mother". FML

by anonymous / 01/25/2016 at 9:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger up my nose, claiming that it was time to plant his "seed." FML

by anonymous / 01/22/2016 at 8:56pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I had RA training and we were doing mock situations. During one of these, I had a seizure. Everyone thought it was fake, until I started violently throwing up. FML

by anon / 01/18/2016 at 1:53pm / Health

Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML

by mouse_13 / 01/15/2016 at 1:28am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2016 at 7:51am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I almost died. My friends dragged me unconcious, hypothermic and half-drowned out of the sea. A helicopter took me to the hospital where they brought me back to life. My family's reaction? "You aren't dying so we don't have to come to the hospital." They wouldn't even bring me clothes. FML

Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML

by sciencenat / 01/14/2016 at 1:36am / Work

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that you can give your grandpa a Vietnam flashback when you set off a leftover firecracker from New Years. I also found out that a 76 year old hits pretty fucking hard when freaking out. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 11:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous