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Zound680

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Zound680

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 January 1992 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 210
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Zound680 : My life is being run by two evil chinchillas. For I, am their Human Slave.

I love extremely weird people because I'm weird.

Human Slave by Day. Ninja by Night.

I recently stabbed a man in the chest 58 times with a spoon. Yes. A Spoon.

Any Questions? Comments? or Concerns? You may ask the person behind curtain #4.

When you're driving be sure to check your backseat. I will not be there.

Zound680's page activity

Visits<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:34am<b>EverettA</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 10:38am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:25pm

Zound680's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Zound680's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend moved in with me. I just walked into my kitchen to find my thirty year-old, perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet completely submerged in soapy water in the sink, presumably from last night when he washed the dishes. FML

Today, my son became convinced that his father cheated and we put the fertilized egg inside me to cover the whole thing up. He won't stop calling me "host mother". FML

#21519206
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (1817)

On 01/25/2016 at 9:09am - kids - by anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger up my nose, claiming that it was time to plant his "seed." FML

#21518334
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21843) - you deserved it (2451)

On 01/22/2016 at 8:56pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had RA training and we were doing mock situations. During one of these, I had a seizure. Everyone thought it was fake, until I started violently throwing up. FML

#21516615
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22088) - you deserved it (1242)

On 01/18/2016 at 1:53pm - health - by anon -

Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

#21515102
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27393) - you deserved it (12983)

On 01/14/2016 at 7:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I almost died. My friends dragged me unconcious, hypothermic and half-drowned out of the sea. A helicopter took me to the hospital where they brought me back to life. My family's reaction? "You aren't dying so we don't have to come to the hospital." They wouldn't even bring me clothes. FML

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

#21510678
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25353) - you deserved it (22379)

On 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that you can give your grandpa a Vietnam flashback when you set off a leftover firecracker from New Years. I also found out that a 76 year old hits pretty fucking hard when freaking out. FML

#21510579
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18811) - you deserved it (7677)

On 01/02/2016 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after trying unsuccessfully for three or so years to have a baby with my wife, my broodiness has gotten so bad that when I saw a couple with their daughter at the bus stop, I briefly had a daydream where I shot them in the head and took their daughter home to raise as my own. FML

#21509677
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23082) - you deserved it (4627)

On 12/31/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by DesperateToBeDad (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML

#21509574
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18187) - you deserved it (1220)

On 12/30/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by just outdone - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, four days before Christmas, I discovered a rash on my daughter's shoulder. The doctor took one look and said, "It's chicken pox. Merry Christmas." FML

#21506142
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21273) - you deserved it (1814)

On 12/21/2015 at 6:45am - kids - by BadLuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my partner and I got called out to a domestic disturbance. Things turned ugly while we were en-route. Long story short, I now know how many grown men it takes to lift a nearly 400lb shit-covered woman onto a stretcher. I almost reconsidered my choice of career. FML

#21500205
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21316) - you deserved it (1621)

On 12/04/2015 at 10:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "no worries" to mean "don't give a shit about anything". FML

#21500134
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23356) - you deserved it (2636)

On 12/04/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States



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