Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zoroark899

Search for a member

Zoroark899

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 31 January 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 835
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Zoroark899's page activity

Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 12:37pm<b>Warmonger_Smurf</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 7:21pm<b>GotItWow</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:38am<b>Global_User</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 3:57pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 8:57pm<b>CantSleepFML</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 10:17pm

Zoroark899's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Zoroark899's badges

Zoroark899's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I received a "D" on my ethics exam, not because I did not know the information or did not follow the correct guidelines for writing the moral arguments, but because according to my professor my moral values are wrong. FML

Today, I found out everybody at work thinks I'm a lesbian because they thought my boyfriend was a girl. FML

#13370943
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25449) - you deserved it (5362)

On 10/08/2010 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML

#12874867
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26298) - you deserved it (3938)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by anonymous.. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML

#12726945
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33782) - you deserved it (4481)

On 08/24/2010 at 8:48pm - animals - by vstan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML

#10974262
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31571) - you deserved it (23324)

On 06/04/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by xricardo - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided to apply for a credit card to help build up my credit rating. It seemed smart since I'm a 24 year old college graduate. I was rejected for not having a credit history. Being rejected turns out to hurt your credit history. The irony of my predicament is too great for words. FML

#8615441
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28622) - you deserved it (2411)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:13pm - money - by creditwhore (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realised my girlfriend is the perfect woman for most men. She only ever talks to me in the intermissions on Modern Warfare 2; shame it's not me playing. FML

#8614078
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23998) - you deserved it (5642)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:27pm - love - by sadf4x0r (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25124) - you deserved it (12892)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my estranged, alcoholic father decided to tell me I have a sister. After 30 mins of him describing how beautiful she is and how much we look alike and how she has lived one town away from me her entire life, I was excited to the point of tears. Too bad she died a year ago. Thanks dad. FML

#7415965
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39789) - you deserved it (1930)

On 01/18/2010 at 6:49am - misc - by Mills (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, whilst at my boyfriend's family get together, his cousin got really drunk and decided to ask my boyfriend when he was planning on proposing to me, loud enough for everyone to hear. An awkward silence was followed by my boyfriend's mother, who clearly said "hopefully never." FML

#7118046
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33280) - you deserved it (2333)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:53am - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8123) - you deserved it (57072)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my Nana showed me her new sign that says, "Some of my greatest blessings call me Nana." We stood there looking at a wall FULL of pictures of her grandkids, which is where she wanted to hang it. After scanning the wall a couple times, I realized. There was not one picture of me. FML

#6946045
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25723) - you deserved it (2357)

On 12/25/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by weeble_wobbles09 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML

#6896852
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10418) - you deserved it (60689)

On 12/23/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by lois2lane (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm travelling to England for an important meeting. I'm Norwegian, and my name is Bård. I have to introduce myself as bored the whole day, because that's how my name is pronounced. FML

#6662033
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31864) - you deserved it (2687)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

#6563359
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48787) - you deserved it (3506)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: