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Back from a party
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Zoroark899's favorite FMLs
by mypoolisstilldirty / 02/16/2012 at 11:26am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by fuck teh poleese / 02/12/2012 at 4:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by BoringFucker / 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
by scammed / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I couldn't tell her where the vitamins were in the pharmacy. The manager came and yelled at me for being lazy and incompetent. I work in the store across the street from the pharmacy. FML
by jodafish / 11/08/2011 at 12:45am / Canada (Quebec) / Work
by fmlifer / 11/04/2011 at 12:29am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was fired for the second time in as many days. I received a letter notifying me that I would no longer be working for the company, effective immediately. When I did not attend work the next day, I received a phone call firing me for not turning up. FML
by fired / 11/04/2011 at 12:04am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I was chaperoning at my local high school's Homecoming dance. Outside the gym, I saw some kids drinking, so I walked over to stop them. One of them promptly spun around and punched me in the mouth. I had my ass handed to by a drunk 9th grader. FML
by smeeagain / 10/20/2011 at 9:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by katt_is_here / 10/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML
by waj9876 / 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/04/2011 at 1:41am / United States / Love
by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…
- Today, I walked into a mirror in a shop. No one would have known had my face not stayed printed on… Today, I found myself completely naked, tied to a chair with a slice of ham on each breast. Note to… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of…