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Mobility
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Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I received my first negative feedback on my otherwise flawless eBay record. The woman who bought the item said it wasn't as delicious as she was expecting, so there must be something wrong with it. What was I selling? A new and unopened lipstick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19140) - you deserved it (1302)
On 06/05/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26233) - you deserved it (2075)
On 06/04/2012 at 11:47pm - work - by kufan1324 - United States
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20850) - you deserved it (1980)
On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got a horrible case of the hiccups while at my friend's mother's funeral, resulting in me squeaking loudly every five seconds during the eulogy. My friend glared daggers at me until I left the room, then later accused me of being an insensitive bitch for "trying to ruin the funeral." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21573) - you deserved it (2890)
On 03/19/2012 at 9:14am - misc - by bitchyhiccups (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I returned to my university residence following spring break. I was greeted by a letter stating I'd been caught on camera vandalising a wall repair. At the time in question, I was asleep on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The REZ coordinator is avoiding me, and I can't clear my name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18026) - you deserved it (1102)
On 03/17/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by CutePenguin (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I returned to my university residence following spring break. I was greeted by a letter stating I'd been caught on camera vandalising a wall repair. At the time in question, I was asleep on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The REZ coordinator is avoiding me, and I can't clear my name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18026) - you deserved it (1102)
On 03/17/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by CutePenguin (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9369) - you deserved it (29060)
On 03/07/2012 at 1:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brew master at a beer company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24514) - you deserved it (1302)
On 03/06/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by sdk2010 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26438) - you deserved it (2391)
On 03/06/2012 at 6:50am - health - by FootyFoot (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I got up at 4:30 am, went to my job as the newspaper guy. Nobody was there to open the door, it was raining and I was freezing. I decided to wait, because I really wanted my salary. At 6 o'clock my boss opens the door and says, "Oh, it's you. Well, you're fired. We can't pay you anymore." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22662) - you deserved it (1123)
On 03/06/2012 at 3:57am - work - by Shan007tjuuh (man) - Netherlands
Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22299) - you deserved it (2214)
On 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm - animals - by goldfish - Canada (Alberta)
Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13952) - you deserved it (20571)
On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)
Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26128) - you deserved it (4048)
On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22623) - you deserved it (1617)
On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Monday 20 May 2013
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