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Zomg_Okay's favorite FMLs
by thedeerman / 09/17/2011 at 12:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by WhatTheFaf / 09/01/2011 at 10:40am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 6:52am / United States / Health
Today, I finally put the finishing touches on my first vacation in over two years, due to my hellish work schedule. The Governor essentially just vetoed my vacation with evacuation orders. Thanks, Hurricane Irene. FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 2:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Holidays
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
by NaniNarcotic / 08/16/2011 at 6:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 12:35pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Work
by Patrick R / 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
by kringr / 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/27/2011 at 12:41pm / Ireland / Love
Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML
by shelbs61 / 08/30/2010 at 3:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
by DUMMIE / 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Ishii / 02/07/2010 at 1:58pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML
by Anonymous / 01/09/2010 at 12:58am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway.… Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend. His best friend called and said he just beat God… Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no…