Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zomg_Okay

Offline (yesterday at 2:29am) | Search for a member

Zomg_Okay

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1935 (79 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6282
  • Number of comments : 1128
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Zomg_Okay's page activity

Visits<b>ghsthnt95</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 11:09pm<b>PSYqualiac</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 12:35am<b>MsMarti</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:15am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 9:23am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:11am<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:09pm<b>okibi1</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 9:40am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 2:02am<b>zoegirl_455</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 12:38am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:19pm<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:42pm<b>ThisSummer</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:49pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 10:48am<b>FrenchieJoking</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:32pm<b>murphy30011</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:40pm<b>triSARAtopsRAWR</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 2:22am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:54pm<b>jag0025</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:41pm

Zomg_Okay's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Zomg_Okay's badges

Zomg_Okay's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

#17775098
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22249) - you deserved it (3094)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out my wife and three daughters all have their period on seperate weeks. I now have no break from yelling. FML

#17761753
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39335) - you deserved it (4694)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:39am - misc - by thedeerman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mum yelled at me for wanting to apply to university courses that she doesn't approve of. I'm applying for Biomedical Sciences and Microbiology, she's an unemployed Jehovah's Witness. FML

#17634820
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35219) - you deserved it (2653)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:40am - work - by WhatTheFaf (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

#17634185
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29878) - you deserved it (4333)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally put the finishing touches on my first vacation in over two years, due to my hellish work schedule. The Governor essentially just vetoed my vacation with evacuation orders. Thanks, Hurricane Irene. FML

#17577670
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24920) - you deserved it (2470)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

#17488478
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7214) - you deserved it (65858)

On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received roughly 50 paper cuts while I was at work. I didn't realize this until after I applied hand sanitizer. FML

#16577754
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42406) - you deserved it (5542)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34635) - you deserved it (6424)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
463 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10553) - you deserved it (117461)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I cycled 30 minutes through hail and rain to get my pregnant girlfriend the crisps she was craving. When I made it back, she didn't want them anymore. FML

#15139053
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37397) - you deserved it (7233)

On 02/27/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

#14585624
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12120) - you deserved it (46828)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8401) - you deserved it (26264)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that, if timed just right, the alarm function on my phone can be disabled by a text message. And my dad has an impeccable sense of timing. I was 20 minutes late for work. FML

#7974349
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24250) - you deserved it (2894)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:58pm - work - by Ishii (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML

#7228897
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9716) - you deserved it (38029)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: