Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zomg_Okay

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

Zomg_Okay

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1935 (79 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4913
  • Number of comments : 1106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Zomg_Okay's page activity

Visits<b>fboy1588</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 1:24pm<b>PinkasaurusRex</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 10:42pm<b>Psybacon1501</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:16pm<b>NothernNightmare</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:21pm<b>bopersonn</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:01pm<b>limitedition</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:26am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 4:09pm<b>lb0812</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 11:27pm<b>lizzy_r_b_94</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:22pm<b>Maqiick</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 5:14pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 1:16am<b>Auspex</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 12:03am<b>pinklala15</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 5:05pm<b>bojh1998</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 10:57pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 8:00pm<b>straww</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Kashaqueetrah</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 3:18pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:34am

Zomg_Okay's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Zomg_Okay's badges

Zomg_Okay's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16896) - you deserved it (46000) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16896) - you deserved it (30673)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML

#18035123
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39924) - you deserved it (10567)

On 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by skinny dipper - United States (Washington)

Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML

#18032391
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34682) - you deserved it (2941)

On 10/20/2011 at 5:18pm - love - by cmd102 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML

#18025150
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24632) - you deserved it (2873)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm - misc - by Missy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML

#18008479
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14707) - you deserved it (72201)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm - misc - by planking champion (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

#17973373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29730) - you deserved it (1871)

On 10/13/2011 at 4:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, after a week of searching, I found my escaped snake. In my umbrella, outside, after opening it over my head. FML

Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML

#17786592
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30170) - you deserved it (8071)

On 09/20/2011 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

#17775098
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21917) - you deserved it (3074)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out my wife and three daughters all have their period on seperate weeks. I now have no break from yelling. FML

#17761753
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38217) - you deserved it (4590)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:39am - misc - by thedeerman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mum yelled at me for wanting to apply to university courses that she doesn't approve of. I'm applying for Biomedical Sciences and Microbiology, she's an unemployed Jehovah's Witness. FML

#17634820
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34053) - you deserved it (2568)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:40am - work - by WhatTheFaf (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

#17634185
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28998) - you deserved it (4246)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally put the finishing touches on my first vacation in over two years, due to my hellish work schedule. The Governor essentially just vetoed my vacation with evacuation orders. Thanks, Hurricane Irene. FML

#17577670
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24817) - you deserved it (2466)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

#17488478
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7184) - you deserved it (65642)

On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: