Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zomg_Okay

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

Zomg_Okay

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1935 (79 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5927
  • Number of comments : 1124
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Zomg_Okay's page activity

Visits<b>MsMarti</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:15am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 9:23am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:11am<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:09pm<b>okibi1</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 9:40am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 2:02am<b>zoegirl_455</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 12:38am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:19pm<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:42pm<b>ThisSummer</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:49pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 10:48am<b>FrenchieJoking</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:32pm<b>murphy30011</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:40pm<b>triSARAtopsRAWR</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 2:22am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:54pm<b>jag0025</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:41pm<b>LittleBells</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:41pm<b>greenbucket</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:55pm

Zomg_Okay's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Zomg_Okay's badges

Zomg_Okay's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

#18134142
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31291) - you deserved it (14674)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML

#18129545
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14577) - you deserved it (33948)

On 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm - animals - by benji - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

#18129165
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23550) - you deserved it (21582)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

#18128656
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47943) - you deserved it (5465)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML

#18126270
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32345) - you deserved it (4320)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Tom - United States

Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML

#18117452
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27403) - you deserved it (2294)

On 10/31/2011 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39783) - you deserved it (22626)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

#18102402
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30695) - you deserved it (10394)

On 10/29/2011 at 10:07am - work - by joser6969 - United States

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML

#18101877
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13183) - you deserved it (42788)

On 10/29/2011 at 7:32am - love - by duped (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML

#18100684
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25665) - you deserved it (5272)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:51am - animals - by Fought The Law - United States (Georgia)

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

#18098889
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21518) - you deserved it (9579)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm - misc - by ricksterile - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26546) - you deserved it (4912)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML

#18095275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24423) - you deserved it (2849)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40577) - you deserved it (5230)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML

#18080621
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12255) - you deserved it (33667)

On 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by mycedes - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: