Zomg_Okay

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/21/2014 at 2:29am)

Zomg_Okay

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1935 (81 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10161
  • Number of comments : 1128
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Zomg_Okay's page activity

Visits<b>Aerobic_Exorcism</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 7:15am<b>JulietMarie</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 7:56pm<b>legodude28</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 6:25pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 2:05am<b>elle_14221</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 5:22pm<b>amberdea404</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 12:24am<b>smeegle</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 7:57pm<b>BigC_from_Bama</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 5:51pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 11:17am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 4:13pm<b>Tommy214</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 12:01am<b>Oihana</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:51pm<b>max367</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:45am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:16am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:10am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:08am<b>fockeygirl</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:37am<b>myselfkk</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 11:36am

Fucked!<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 8:05am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 9:10am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:08pm

Zomg_Okay's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Zomg_Okay's badges

Zomg_Okay's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML

by benji / 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

by bakedplum / 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML

by Tom / 11/01/2011 at 1:01am / United States / Love

Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2011 at 12:12am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

by Korisite / 10/30/2011 at 1:31am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

by joser6969 / 10/29/2011 at 10:07am / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML

by duped / 10/29/2011 at 7:32am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love

Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML

by Fought The Law / 10/29/2011 at 12:51am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

by ricksterile / 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 11:52am / United States / Kids

Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 8:25am / United States / Kids

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML

by mycedes / 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

by beccav23 / 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy