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Zomg_Okay

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Zomg_Okay

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1935 (79 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5301
  • Number of comments : 1113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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Zomg_Okay's page activity

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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Zomg_Okay's favorite FMLs

Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML

#18126270
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32277) - you deserved it (4315)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Tom - United States

Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML

#18117452
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26654) - you deserved it (2238)

On 10/31/2011 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39718) - you deserved it (22598)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

#18102402
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30618) - you deserved it (10382)

On 10/29/2011 at 10:07am - work - by joser6969 - United States

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML

#18101877
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13148) - you deserved it (42721)

On 10/29/2011 at 7:32am - love - by duped (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML

#18100684
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25612) - you deserved it (5266)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:51am - animals - by Fought The Law - United States (Georgia)

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

#18098889
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21461) - you deserved it (9575)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm - misc - by ricksterile - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26461) - you deserved it (4899)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML

#18095275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (2847)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40510) - you deserved it (5224)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML

#18080621
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11837) - you deserved it (32924)

On 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by mycedes - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

#18071770
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30799) - you deserved it (6880)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML

#18071485
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22194) - you deserved it (13762)

On 10/25/2011 at 11:00am - health - by Michael - Australia

Today I had to listen to my father lecture me on all the potential dangers of Halloween. He has a speech for every holiday, every year. I'm 28 years old. FML

#18062518
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25794) - you deserved it (2797)

On 10/24/2011 at 10:54am - misc - by StromyG2 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

#18049596
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30035) - you deserved it (6797)

On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)



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