About ZombiezEatU : talk to mee! dont bite too hard :P
♥William, 5-27-10♥
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11243) - you deserved it (30187)
On 09/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by DusterOverBits (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30425) - you deserved it (2507)
On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30294) - you deserved it (6159)
On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30294) - you deserved it (6159)
On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30294) - you deserved it (6159)
On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30294) - you deserved it (6159)
On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, at work a little girl wanted a slushie. Instead of pushing the tab in, she lifted it up and broke the machine, spilling slushie all over the floor. I was the only one working, so I had to clean it all up. I spent the rest of my shift covered in red slushie and smelling like cherry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24404) - you deserved it (3437)
On 09/15/2009 at 12:17am - work - by conley19 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, after spending 20 minutes every day working on my abs for the last month and feeling pretty good about how they were looking, I received the first comment about them. A girl poked them and said 'squish'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26089) - you deserved it (4239)
On 09/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9704) - you deserved it (36983)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I finally figured out why my 5 year old daughter washes her hair everyday. It's because she doesn't want to have "yucky greasy" hair like her mommy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10851) - you deserved it (31975)
On 09/07/2009 at 4:25pm - kids - by greasyhair (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15621) - you deserved it (56256)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius
Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37227) - you deserved it (11452)
On 08/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by peepeepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62234) - you deserved it (6213)
On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10734) - you deserved it (44727)
On 08/16/2009 at 5:05pm - kids - by Overflow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40884) - you deserved it (15387)
On 08/15/2009 at 3:50am - love - by slipperyhands (man) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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