talk to mee! dont bite too hard :P
♥♥
Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discretely called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12139) - you totally deserved it (1012)
On 03/04/2010 at 1:52pm - health - by GoDiarrhea (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)
Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9766) - you totally deserved it (2665)
On 02/25/2010 at 10:18am - misc - by popeye (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17416) - you totally deserved it (5031)
On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States
Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15277) - you totally deserved it (2908)
On 01/22/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by jazz - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I got a biology quiz back. I had drawn a dinosaur on the back of the page, asking for extra credit. When my teacher handed it to me, I turned it over to see that he had drawn a caveman shooting arrows at my dinosaur. It was bleeding. Profusely. I didn't get the extra credit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3863) - you totally deserved it (18099)
On 01/14/2010 at 9:06pm - work - by Halpal (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16812) - you totally deserved it (6584)
On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my car crashed, the only refuge was at a nearby house, of which the inhabitant of the house was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17677) - you totally deserved it (2664)
On 11/23/2009 at 11:40am - love - by worsethanzombies (man) - Spain (Madrid)
Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25429) - you totally deserved it (1919)
On 10/03/2009 at 11:34am - health - by Pwnedofthedead (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23290) - you totally deserved it (2349)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8306) - you totally deserved it (24442)
On 09/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by DusterOverBits (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23538) - you totally deserved it (1651)
On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24679) - you totally deserved it (4988)
On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, at work a little girl wanted a slushie. Instead of pushing the tab in, she lifted it up and broke the machine, spilling slushie all over the floor. I was the only one working, so I had to clean it all up. I spent the rest of my shift covered in red slushie and smelling like cherry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19810) - you totally deserved it (2706)
On 09/15/2009 at 12:17am - work - by conley19 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, after spending 20 minutes every day working on my abs for the last month and feeling pretty good about how they were looking, I received the first comment about them. A girl poked them and said 'squish'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21703) - you totally deserved it (3530)
On 09/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7315) - you totally deserved it (30069)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)
