[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

ZombiezEatU

Search for a member

ZombiezEatU
  • Town/Country : Nevadaaaa, US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 March 1995 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1054
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ZombiezEatU : talk to mee! dont bite too hard :P
♥William, 5-27-10♥

ZombiezEatU's last visitors

FreezeZebrasofa13JustMeMyselfIjoeinthedarkjtrain80mr_sphinctergreyy_goooosequeenbitch1996allison00prettypink786

ZombiezEatU's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ZombiezEatU's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495 (282)

I agree, your life sucks (32424) - you deserved it (8884)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discretely called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

#8823519 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (16223) - you deserved it (1514)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:52pm - health - by GoDiarrhea (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks (12506) - you deserved it (3344)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:18am - misc - by popeye (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while out for our romantic Valentine's dinner, my boyfriend of 2.5 years told me that he believes in females being subservient, and I am not allowed to have opinions anymore. AND he is "the Alpha Dog" and I'm merely the "Beta Dog", so I have to "get used to it." FML

#8263178 (401)

I agree, your life sucks (22628) - you deserved it (4851)

On 02/14/2010 at 7:43pm - love - by Shirley (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I hooked up with a guy who has a Facebook page for his cat. FML

#8117396 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (6901) - you deserved it (23374)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:33am - intimacy - by CatWoman (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I found out that you can get arrested for holding up a 'free hugs' sign. FML

#7824554 (342)

I agree, your life sucks (28597) - you deserved it (7313)

On 02/02/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by nonameLiz (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

#7548356 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (22202) - you deserved it (6184)

On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks (19077) - you deserved it (3699)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by jazz - Sent from mobile version

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (29022) - you deserved it (3041)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks (21201) - you deserved it (7921)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

I agree, your life sucks (8979) - you deserved it (17346)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I spent five hours typing a letter to a Norwegian client. I then took a quick nap after the hard work. When I woke up, I found my paper in weird English. It turns out my girlfriend wanted to do me a favor and correct the words with the "red wavy lines." She was kind enough to save. FML

#6847094 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (20971) - you deserved it (2574)

On 12/20/2009 at 1:20pm - work - by runescapeftw - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my car crashed, the only refuge was at a nearby house, of which the inhabitant of the house was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

I agree, your life sucks (21513) - you deserved it (3215)

On 11/23/2009 at 11:40am - love - by worsethanzombies (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML

#5620240 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (30137) - you deserved it (2411)

On 10/03/2009 at 11:34am - health - by Pwnedofthedead (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML

I agree, your life sucks (28167) - you deserved it (2963)

On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore