Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zombieslayer1

Search for a member

Zombieslayer1
  • Town/Country : Michigan, America?
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 9 December 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 919
  • Number of comments : 168
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Zombieslayer1 : Wow, so much to say and little space to do it with. First off I love the summer since I live on a lake and just feel dead during the winter. Nothin' better then hangin' with my friends and a big ol' bucket of KFC chicken (extra crispy), and doin' sports. I teach kids how to skate and am learning a form of martial arts called Aikido.

Zombieslayer1's last visitors

bignick2112Usuarioischneid101chickaslimshadyMzZombicidalMornairawr_ily96

Zombieslayer1's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Zombieslayer1's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML

#15733743
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36916) - you deserved it (8341)

On 04/11/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by blower - United States (Colorado)

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17009) - you deserved it (60901)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

#15698653
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16947) - you deserved it (31930)

On 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16062) - you deserved it (71513)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28704) - you deserved it (10135)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML

#13959024
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18935) - you deserved it (5791)

On 11/24/2010 at 5:55am - money - by hoogimo -

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

#12143188
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32497) - you deserved it (14724)

On 07/27/2010 at 10:43am - intimacy - by lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

#9643258
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35338) - you deserved it (7089)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: