Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zombieslayer1

Search for a member

Zombieslayer1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 9 December 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1002
  • Number of comments : 168
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Zombieslayer1 : Wow, so much to say and little space to do it with. First off I love the summer since I live on a lake and just feel dead during the winter. Nothin' better then hangin' with my friends and a big ol' bucket of KFC chicken (extra crispy), and doin' sports. I teach kids how to skate and am learning a form of martial arts called Aikido.

Zombieslayer1's page activity

Visits<b>Catsss</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:28pm<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:11pm<b>earljonez</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:44pm<b>RedneckWeaver</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 3:41pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 4:17pm<b>SmokinGuns</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 5:03pm<b>nightwings</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 5:13am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 2:23pm<b>bignick2112</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 2:01pm<b>Usuario</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 5:46am<b>hendy34</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 8:13am<b>ischneid101</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 3:56pm<b>YoshiEgg</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 1:56pm<b>CyanSleepy</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 11:12pm<b>chickaslimshady</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 2:10am<b>ayowutup</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 12:08pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 7:58pm<b>ZSkeen</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 4:24am

Zombieslayer1's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Zombieslayer1's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML

#15733743
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39094) - you deserved it (8598)

On 04/11/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by blower - United States (Colorado)

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19257) - you deserved it (65817)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

#15698653
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18126) - you deserved it (33604)

On 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17371) - you deserved it (74010)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33906) - you deserved it (13025)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML

#13959024
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23761) - you deserved it (7485)

On 11/24/2010 at 5:55am - money - by hoogimo -

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

#12143188
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34648) - you deserved it (15218)

On 07/27/2010 at 10:43am - intimacy - by lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

#9643258
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41186) - you deserved it (7595)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: