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Zombielanddd

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Zombielanddd

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1828
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Zombielanddd : I've been here forever, just never had an account.

Zombielanddd's page activity

Visits<b>noone225</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 8:35am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 11:20pm<b>malheartsnutmeg</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 3:25pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 12:01am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 1:02am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 2:02pm<b>diceddiamonds</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 11:37pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 11:15pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 2:02pm<b>pillowcases</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 1:52am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 5:45pm

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Zombielanddd's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83820) - you deserved it (221930)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863
540 comments

I agree, your life sucks (209871) - you deserved it (22494)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

#1416648
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21497) - you deserved it (226750)

On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (479630) - you deserved it (29254)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
927 comments

I agree, your life sucks (350775) - you deserved it (38696)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (285062) - you deserved it (19114)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
520 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241863) - you deserved it (32155)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (233059) - you deserved it (31022)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (254820) - you deserved it (59882)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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