About ZombieXgirlFrend : Don't wake me up before 9
If you're cute and ages 15-18 text me(304-519-4307)
If you can't drive you're to young for me bro
Oh and if I don't like you, I'll tell you
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46534) - you deserved it (3137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37378) - you deserved it (4145) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version
Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22217) - you deserved it (1722)
On 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by dynah114 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36503) - you deserved it (1031)
On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34399) - you deserved it (3681)
On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23306) - you deserved it (2376)
On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and I asked him to call me something sweet. He called me Honey Boo Boo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24561) - you deserved it (5287)
On 10/22/2012 at 11:18pm - intimacy - by TypeOhNegative (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19702) - you deserved it (2347)
On 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62470) - you deserved it (6322)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)
Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24254) - you deserved it (3964)
On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10560) - you deserved it (42360)
On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13958) - you deserved it (2216)
On 10/09/2012 at 1:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)
Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23390) - you deserved it (1467)
On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22365) - you deserved it (3494)
On 07/15/2012 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5032) - you deserved it (22770)
On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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