About Zoh_Aubrey : Les Twins
About Zoh_Aubrey : Les Twins
Zoh_Aubrey's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Zoh_Aubrey's favorite FMLs
by iwantmoney / 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Money
Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML
by Anonymous / 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML
by rbeast / 07/21/2011 at 12:10am / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Username / 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm / United States / Love
by ElixirRose / 07/20/2011 at 8:36am / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by growlr / 07/20/2011 at 5:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Harry / 07/20/2011 at 3:40am / United States / Kids
Today, I told my boyfriend to stop tickling me, since I absolutely hate being tickled. He got extremely pissed at me and left the room. It took me a full five minutes to realize that I'd called him by my ex's name. FML
by sarahbeth93 / 07/20/2011 at 12:07am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
by hatemylife / 07/19/2011 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML
by xBubbles38 / 07/18/2011 at 11:17am / United States / Kids
by flipnazn / 07/15/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by CatOwner / 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by Username / 07/11/2011 at 6:23pm / United States (Washington) / Health
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…