About Zoh_Aubrey : Les Twins
About Zoh_Aubrey : Les Twins
Zoh_Aubrey's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Zoh_Aubrey's favorite FMLs
Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML
by stitchesupmyass / 11/01/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
by ohdear / 10/31/2011 at 11:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by margelover / 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Intimacy
by G / 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
by -- / 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/23/2011 at 1:39am / United States / Money
by ginger / 08/19/2011 at 6:38am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
by Kathryn / 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Eddie / 08/07/2011 at 3:43pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Intimacy
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother and aunt got into an argument about who had gotten groped more times in public. I don't know what's more disturbing, that my own mother would brag about getting groped, or that she won the argument, at 34 times. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 3:04am / United States / Intimacy
by Thebestman123 / 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by dukebluedevils13 / 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
- Today, as a freelancing musician, I had to pass on the best gig I've ever been offered (worth over… Today, I play softball and we use eye black because it helps block out the glare. I sat down at my… Today, I had to work a double shift as a server with a multi-fractured foot because my boss decided…