Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 July 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 628
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About ZoeysMama : Mommy to a wonderful baby girl, a cat, and a German Shepard.
I work on teeth.
Married to my best friend.
I listen to pop punk.
Proud sister of a us marine.
I love my family.
I get on here for laughs only.

ZoeysMama's page activity

Visits<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 1:55pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:47pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 7:54pm<b>JuicyJew69</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 6:55pm<b>army_of_misfits</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 6:58pm<b>rapsac200</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 5:46am<b>c_note21</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 5:55am<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 8:31pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 8:28pm<b>larson15</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 1:11am<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 2:02pm<b>buzz18</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 8:06am<b>Yongchi</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 1:52am<b>olpally</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 10:22am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 2:47pm<b>jarrodismyname</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 2:37pm<b>Shea_Nicole</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 12:52am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/21/2013 at 4:58pm

ZoeysMama's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of ZoeysMama's badges

ZoeysMama's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

by Frazz / 06/10/2013 at 1:09am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

by SHIT-BREATH / 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Animals

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 06/05/2013 at 11:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

by Thanks Honey / 06/05/2013 at 11:08am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML

by Justme / 06/05/2013 at 1:02am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out my work gave me a vacation for my performance. It's a trip to somewhere in the Caribbean, with the nickname "The Sunniest Place on Earth." I have skin cancer. FML

by TooSunnyForSkin / 06/05/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Indiana) / Holidays

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

by ._. / 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Intimacy

Today, I had to walk home in the rain because my mom didn't want to get her new car wet. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2013 at 12:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

by irishbubble / 06/04/2013 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a prank phone call that woke me up. I actually kept them on the line because they were the first person to call me in weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2013 at 3:11am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML

by fuck wannabe knowitalls / 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

by future burger flipper / 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money