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Offline (the 10/28/2016 at 11:03am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 April 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4181
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 13 posted

About Zoey_M : Don't be lasagne.

Zoey_M's page activity

Visits<b>Shay_Shay97</b> - the 11/20/2016 at 2:17am<b>KatieJBabe</b> - the 11/04/2016 at 10:38pm<b>chokolada</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 11:27am<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 1:03pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 11:03am<b>W31rdG1rl</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 1:09am<b>Sammi0116</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 12:52pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 5:30am<b>CorvusVenator</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 5:16pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 10:11am<b>Taymoo1515</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 8:41am<b>Rysal5</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:20pm<b>bonbon1559</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 6:10am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 10:41pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 11:33am<b>lawls79</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 1:58pm<b>XPiemaster</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 10:26pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 8:09pm

Fucked!<b>W31rdG1rl</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 7:10am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:40pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 3:20am<b>powerkeep</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 2:53am<b>Rysal5</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 2:08am<b>dusthar</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 12:48am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 10:41am<b>nana_star</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 1:15am<b>WildaRora</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 5:21am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:22am<b>crystalxa</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 2:44pm

Zoey_M's FML badges

Santa Claus

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Zoey_M's favorite FMLs

Today, my classmate went into rage mode and cursed at me, complaining how it's so unfair that I'm allowed to wear a hijab in class but she isn't allowed to wear a Flamingo hat. FML

by idontmakethedresscode / 10/23/2015 at 4:17am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML

by Alan / 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

by Waterfalls / 10/07/2014 at 7:33am / United States (California) / Health

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

by outsmartedbykids / 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

by chumman / 05/06/2014 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was stuck in the elevator for almost two hours. Where was the elevator mechanic? Next to me in the elevator. FML

by ClaustrophobicNightmares / 03/28/2014 at 4:42am / Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad) / Work

Today, at my job as a librarian at an old library, I was shelving books. Things were great until one entire bookshelf fell over. The damage wasn't too bad. Then the rest fell down. FML

by FallCameEarly / 02/27/2014 at 1:21am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was breast feeding my son. Out of nowhere, he bit my nipple hard, causing me to scream in pain. He giggled with my nipple still between his teeth. FML

by sierraleeannee / 02/09/2014 at 1:44am / United States / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

by beemove / 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

by anon / 12/26/2013 at 7:08am / Australia / Love

Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2013 at 12:58pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML

by longlongwinter / 12/05/2013 at 11:50am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML

by Amanda / 11/26/2013 at 3:00pm / United States / Love