About ZodiacalComa7 : I like to wonder why the world is so sad when it doesn't have to be. Reading FML gives me some insight.
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ZodiacalComa7's favorite FMLs
Today, I was struggling to move a large bookshelf downstairs. Mid-way down, the weight became too much for me and I desperately yelled to my dad for help. He stood at the top of the stairs and said, "Cash or broken bones. How much's it worth, son?" I'm now £50 poorer. FML
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 6:20pm / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Money
by monkey / 09/19/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML
by Anonymous / 09/17/2013 at 1:23pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML
by meganmagee / 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by Kit / 09/16/2013 at 7:09am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love
Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML
by chestycough / 09/16/2013 at 12:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML
by crushed / 09/14/2013 at 1:04pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Stripes_And_Dots / 09/14/2013 at 2:26am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML
by AnonymousLoser / 09/11/2013 at 5:30am / United Kingdom / Love
by Iskylite / 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, my sister, who knows I'm severely afraid of heights, got me tickets to sky dive for my birthday. When I reminded her of my fear, she stated that she forgot and should just keep them for herself and her boyfriend. My mom agreed. FML
by PartTimePrincess / 09/10/2013 at 10:56am / United States / Money
Today, tired of everyone forgetting my birthday, I traveled half way around the world to spend my 40th at a five star resort just to try and make it special. The hotel brought me a cake with someone else's name on it. FML
by nevercatchabreak / 08/31/2013 at 4:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by charlieg9 / 08/30/2013 at 8:33am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…