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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42784) - you deserved it (5966)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26946) - you deserved it (15287)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16005) - you deserved it (2008)
On 02/04/2010 at 1:53pm - misc - by Ewwwwww - United States
Today, I was going to the bathroom. As I was about to wipe, I noticed that the toilet paper had butterflies printed on it. Never before had I felt bad for wiping my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5174) - you deserved it (16822)
On 01/07/2010 at 9:43am - misc - by Doomy (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I threw a paper ball into a recycling bin backwards. I don't know whats more sad: the fact that that was my highlight of my life, or I had been attempting to make that shot every day for 3 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18935) - you deserved it (4544)
On 10/23/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by efmylife (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24468) - you deserved it (4295)
On 09/28/2009 at 2:25pm - love - by chachi (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as "My other girlfriend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32147) - you deserved it (2564)
On 09/28/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34221) - you deserved it (2076)
On 09/28/2009 at 11:13am - kids - by justgreat (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to the restroom at school and when I finished my business, I noticed there was no toilet paper. I then began to wait hoping that a janitor would come by with extra toilet paper. It wasn't until an hour later that I then realized there was 4 extra rolls hidden behind the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6537) - you deserved it (35139)
On 09/25/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by MyLyfeSux (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got flowers at work. I was excited until I saw they were from my good friend saying, "Sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35912) - you deserved it (1644)
On 09/24/2009 at 12:16pm - love - by Tally (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49745) - you deserved it (1568)
On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7263) - you deserved it (53627)
On 09/24/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by doggybag (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was giving a speech to my 300 some-odd person class. All throughout it, people had been giggling and cackling while I was speaking. I soon realized that my pants had been unzipped. I accidentally fell asleep with all my underwear in the washer last night and had gone commando that day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27889) - you deserved it (14227)
On 09/16/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by BluesMan1990 (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50329) - you deserved it (2348)
On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30600) - you deserved it (2880)
On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
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