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Zeus99

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Zeus99
  • Town/Country : North Little Rock, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 August 1988 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 668
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zeus99's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom decided to give me a bloodcurdlingly graphic sex talk. On a plane. I'm 23. FML

#17343127
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23882) - you deserved it (1774)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:26pm - misc - by jared77 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

#17261824
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27017) - you deserved it (6252)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got motion sickness while having sex. FML

#16265516
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32719) - you deserved it (4798)

On 05/20/2011 at 10:39am - intimacy - by mikeycoco -

Today, I saw my dad chugging a beer in the garage. Why is that so bad? He was hosting an AA meeting in the basement. FML

#16150933
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23706) - you deserved it (1834)

On 05/12/2011 at 10:19pm - health - by Eric -

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

#15791690
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17248) - you deserved it (40347)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:34am - intimacy - by fmyhabit - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that if I were 2 inches shorter, I would have to sit in a booster seat in the car. I'm about to turn 22. FML

#15740494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29692) - you deserved it (3471)

On 04/11/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by shorty (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13580) - you deserved it (58456)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47515) - you deserved it (21371)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

#15510079
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36159) - you deserved it (4510)

On 03/27/2011 at 4:37am - intimacy - by Angel1000168 - Australia

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
689 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62309) - you deserved it (11803)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41210) - you deserved it (21055)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

#15178043
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28537) - you deserved it (3152)

On 03/02/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by Worstjob (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML

#15162560
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12972) - you deserved it (44277)

On 03/01/2011 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized it feels better when I sneeze than when my boyfriend and I have sex. FML

#15124262
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26611) - you deserved it (4064)

On 02/26/2011 at 7:18am - intimacy - by horriblegf - United States

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

#14954867
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12326) - you deserved it (46758)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)



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