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Zeus99's favorite FMLs
by Walter / 10/23/2015 at 11:17pm / Spain / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/21/2015 at 8:12am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Intimacy
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
by iskalion / 10/10/2015 at 1:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML
by T-Bear / 10/07/2015 at 11:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2015 at 9:00am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, the guy I've been seeing bought me a nice bottle of wine and cooked dinner for me. Later, we started having sex for the first time. All was going well until he ran to the bathroom mid-sex and I had to listen to him with explosive diarrhea. The worst part is, he wanted to keep going after. FML
by westie732 / 09/09/2015 at 10:44pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/07/2015 at 10:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 09/06/2015 at 4:11pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/06/2015 at 1:38am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/06/2015 at 12:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/28/2015 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/18/2015 at 9:26am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy
by donuts678 / 08/16/2015 at 7:37pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML