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Zeus99

Offline (the 01/25/2015 at 5:28am) | Search for a member

Zeus99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1923
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zeus99's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:23pm

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Zeus99's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML

#21303116
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29730) - you deserved it (3535)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:11am - work - by TJ AJ RJ / IV the V - United States (California)

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

#21300331
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32005) - you deserved it (3308)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by no - United States

Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML

#21299949
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34982) - you deserved it (3423)

On 11/16/2014 at 12:29am - kids - by wtfdad - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

#21299790
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32314) - you deserved it (4405)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by omgdesdes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44076) - you deserved it (3853)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

#21297310
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34545) - you deserved it (4398)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was so lonely, I caught myself whispering to my food just so I had someone to talk to. FML

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

#21296136
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42741) - you deserved it (4037)

On 11/10/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by SisterOfTard (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend pretended to be reading braille while touching my chest acne. FML

#21295903
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37155) - you deserved it (5778)

On 11/10/2014 at 12:01am - intimacy - by annababyyyy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I learned that when you're talking about your girlfriend's 6'4", 250 lb dad in a negative way, you should really make sure he isn't around first. FML

#21295068
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17930) - you deserved it (34884)

On 11/08/2014 at 10:38pm - misc - by jlong9071 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40277) - you deserved it (3425)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43854) - you deserved it (6568)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

#21260160
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34208) - you deserved it (3896)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36586) - you deserved it (11251)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML

#21259922
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39669) - you deserved it (4113)

On 09/17/2014 at 7:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)



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