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Offline (the 01/25/2015 at 5:28am) | Search for a member
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML
Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML
Friday 30 January 2015