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Zeus99

Offline (the 01/25/2015 at 5:28am) | Search for a member

Zeus99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1921
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zeus99's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:23pm

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Zeus99's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

#21310722
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18847) - you deserved it (38321)

On 12/03/2014 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

#21310030
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38270) - you deserved it (2633)

On 12/02/2014 at 10:42am - love - by braceforcarnage (man) - United States

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML

#21309730
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45933) - you deserved it (9090)

On 12/01/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45475) - you deserved it (11767)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32824) - you deserved it (4231)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

#21308641
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30961) - you deserved it (18127)

On 11/30/2014 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend went to work instead of going to my father's funeral. He works at home and chooses his own hours. FML

#21308437
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34216) - you deserved it (3041)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by .... - United States (Illinois)

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

#21306727
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31300) - you deserved it (6484)

On 11/27/2014 at 10:13am - love - by fart - United States (Michigan)

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35825) - you deserved it (5962)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37380) - you deserved it (4267)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

#21303901
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38383) - you deserved it (4314)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Kilkenny)

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34431) - you deserved it (4023)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured, "Eh, a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29447) - you deserved it (8301)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

#21303377
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31384) - you deserved it (4109)

On 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm - misc - by Veronica - United States (California)



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