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Zeus99

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Zeus99

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3216
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zeus99's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:23pm

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Zeus99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

#21407637
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29630) - you deserved it (4322)

On 05/10/2015 at 4:40am - love - by gassygirlfriend - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

#21406874
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29287) - you deserved it (2368)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML

#21406759
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25758) - you deserved it (3245)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

#21406694
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30621) - you deserved it (2794)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:44am - misc - by brittrus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

#21406233
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32638) - you deserved it (5367)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by pleasedie - United States (Florida)

Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML

#21406043
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33051) - you deserved it (2117)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:27am - love - by that one anon - United States (California)

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

#21405973
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32417) - you deserved it (4359)

On 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by dadoftheyear (man) - United States

Today, I finally reached the point where it became necessary to give my boyfriend an ultimatum: either clip your toenails, or we aren't having sex. FML

#21405555
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28948) - you deserved it (2815)

On 05/06/2015 at 8:50am - love - by anon - United States (Kansas)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29356) - you deserved it (3705)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

#21405064
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34550) - you deserved it (4520)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:13am - intimacy - by baby_trex_arms - United States (California)

Today, I found out why my husband has been coming home from work so late. Turns out he loves to help people. Specifically female people. And by help, I mean sleep with. FML

#21403935
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33406) - you deserved it (2499)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by I pick em' good - United States

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31521) - you deserved it (4635)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I clogged the toilet in the one-man bathroom at the corner store, with a line of about 5 people waiting outside. FML

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

#21403147
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32908) - you deserved it (3414)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

#21402984
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28747) - you deserved it (3385)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)



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