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Zeus99

Offline (the 03/26/2015 at 4:37am) | Search for a member

Zeus99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2432
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zeus99's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:23pm

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Zeus99's favorite FMLs

Today, while on the job I accidentally locked my keys and all of my equipment in the car. I work for the AAA. FML

#21349609
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27924) - you deserved it (4711)

On 02/04/2015 at 11:02am - work - by AAA guy - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

#21348755
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40348) - you deserved it (4176)

On 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm - love - by bootyislife - United States (Washington)

Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML

#21348664
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14794) - you deserved it (40247)

On 02/02/2015 at 10:14pm - health - by toe - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my wife's boyfriend learned that you can't flush condoms. FML

#21348539
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43777) - you deserved it (2604)

On 02/02/2015 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by StantheMan93 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML

#21348376
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44447) - you deserved it (3208)

On 02/02/2015 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by itsemilyc - United States (Michigan)

Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML

#21347895
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31254) - you deserved it (2294)

On 02/01/2015 at 6:10pm - health - by grossedout - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

#21343357
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30068) - you deserved it (3507)

On 01/24/2015 at 9:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw selfies of my aunt and her friends on Facebook having a great time. They took the pictures at my mother's funeral last week. FML

#21343089
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32905) - you deserved it (2025)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML

#21343084
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29596) - you deserved it (2206)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

#21342247
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39103) - you deserved it (3341)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

#21341327
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28899) - you deserved it (10556)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm - intimacy - by chelse_elyce - United States

Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML

#21341250
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27410) - you deserved it (6086)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm - misc - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

#21340142
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31168) - you deserved it (6423)

On 01/19/2015 at 9:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend when I began dozing off. I was then awoken by an explosive fart. It was me. FML

#21340117
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29460) - you deserved it (5032)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

#21339980
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35652) - you deserved it (5301)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)



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