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Zeus99

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Zeus99
  • Town/Country : North Little Rock, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 August 1988 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 664
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zeus99's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23094) - you deserved it (3234)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, it was my birthday. I finally got the PS3 I've been asking for, for a long time. When I opened the box, I didn't find a PS3, but a bunch of clothes that my mom put in my brother's PS3 box. FML

#20157168
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18267) - you deserved it (2765)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:02am - misc - by Shauna (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16537) - you deserved it (1956)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

#20144932
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26394) - you deserved it (3616)

On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

#20140315
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7020) - you deserved it (50210)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

#20125076
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7834) - you deserved it (28022)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:57am - intimacy - by MIND BLOWING - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13857) - you deserved it (3028)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

#20095626
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21378) - you deserved it (3305)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

#20083352
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17086) - you deserved it (16409)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

#20022504
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11229) - you deserved it (22285)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

#19902817
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8276) - you deserved it (15977)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by totallyembarassed - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10377) - you deserved it (31242)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

#19434352
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28017) - you deserved it (2262)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:15am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five minutes, so no, you can't go upstairs for a quickie". FML

#19407529
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19197) - you deserved it (4483)

On 04/04/2012 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by KatieB (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10576) - you deserved it (35201)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)



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