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Zeus99

Offline (the 07/02/2015 at 7:37pm) | Search for a member

Zeus99

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3110
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zeus99's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:23pm

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Zeus99's favorite FMLs

Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML

#21406043
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32998) - you deserved it (2114)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:27am - love - by that one anon - United States (California)

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

#21405973
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32239) - you deserved it (4348)

On 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by dadoftheyear (man) - United States

Today, I finally reached the point where it became necessary to give my boyfriend an ultimatum: either clip your toenails, or we aren't having sex. FML

#21405555
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28914) - you deserved it (2814)

On 05/06/2015 at 8:50am - love - by anon - United States (Kansas)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29338) - you deserved it (3705)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

#21405064
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34360) - you deserved it (4510)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:13am - intimacy - by baby_trex_arms - United States (California)

Today, I found out why my husband has been coming home from work so late. Turns out he loves to help people. Specifically female people. And by help, I mean sleep with. FML

#21403935
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33249) - you deserved it (2491)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by I pick em' good - United States

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31506) - you deserved it (4633)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I clogged the toilet in the one-man bathroom at the corner store, with a line of about 5 people waiting outside. FML

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

#21403147
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32857) - you deserved it (3412)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

#21402984
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27808) - you deserved it (3102)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I moved my leg to wrap it around him and accidentally hit his penis. Without thinking, I said, "Sorry little guy!" FML

#21402047
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31631) - you deserved it (9803)

On 04/29/2015 at 10:25pm - intimacy - by MiniJeans - United States (Florida)

Today, after waiting for 2 weeks for the right moment to meet my boyfriend's mom, she walked in as I was straddling him, trying to prove that I'd win in a wrestling match. I guess we met, then. FML

#21401631
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26103) - you deserved it (3586)

On 04/29/2015 at 7:11am - love - by xxlenalunaxx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML

#21401411
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30971) - you deserved it (4547)

On 04/28/2015 at 9:36pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML

#21401155
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33140) - you deserved it (3594)

On 04/28/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

#21401116
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29353) - you deserved it (2857)

On 04/28/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by PPP - United States



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