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Zeus99

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Zeus99

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4144
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zeus99's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:23pm

Zeus99's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Zeus99's favorite FMLs

Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML

#21482519
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28211) - you deserved it (3448)

On 10/21/2015 at 8:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me an email that read, "How to lose 25lbs". I was eating a large slice of pie when I opened the email. FML

#21480933
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21980) - you deserved it (7340)

On 10/16/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by scorned ex -

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

#21478134
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24745) - you deserved it (5078)

On 10/10/2015 at 1:39am - misc - by iskalion (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML

#21477124
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33485) - you deserved it (1978)

On 10/07/2015 at 11:02am - intimacy - by T-Bear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML

#21470947
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27755) - you deserved it (2969)

On 09/21/2015 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, the guy I've been seeing bought me a nice bottle of wine and cooked dinner for me. Later, we started having sex for the first time. All was going well until he ran to the bathroom mid-sex and I had to listen to him with explosive diarrhea. The worst part is, he wanted to keep going after. FML

Today, I saw a dick for the first time in my life, on the early morning crowded train headed for work. FML

#21465627
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28209) - you deserved it (2648)

On 09/07/2015 at 10:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my neighbor pointed to me and said to his best friend, "This motherfucker still lives with his mama. That's why he can't get no pussy." I'm thirty. My neighbor is eleven, and correct. FML

#21465314
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27440) - you deserved it (7430)

On 09/06/2015 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the girl I've gone on two dates with showed up at my house with several boxes of her stuff, expecting to move in. FML

#21465097
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30934) - you deserved it (2467)

On 09/06/2015 at 1:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my best friend she looked great in the dress she was wearing. My boyfriend overheard and is now convinced I'm a lesbian. FML

#21465068
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24052) - you deserved it (1989)

On 09/06/2015 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML

#21461568
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26288) - you deserved it (2382)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

#21457543
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24255) - you deserved it (3722)

On 08/18/2015 at 9:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML

#21456831
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18776) - you deserved it (8008)

On 08/16/2015 at 7:37pm - kids - by donuts678 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

#21456687
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29063) - you deserved it (3226)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML

#21455888
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22951) - you deserved it (9040)

On 08/14/2015 at 5:35am - work - by babbling idiot - Canada



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