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Zeus99

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Zeus99

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2875
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zeus99's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:23pm

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Zeus99's favorite FMLs

Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML

#21401155
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32651) - you deserved it (3580)

On 04/28/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

#21401116
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29267) - you deserved it (2850)

On 04/28/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by PPP - United States

Today, my mom told me that if I wanted to commit suicide, I should make it seem like a car accident, and not do it in the house, because she would be too embarrassed if people thought she was a bad parent. FML

#21401085
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36219) - you deserved it (2625)

On 04/28/2015 at 9:26am - misc - by WasNotAdopted (man) - United States (California)

Today, less than a month from our wedding, my fiancé told me that he doesn't trust me and will be cancelling our wedding and new apartment lease if I don't give him all the names, numbers and addresses of my exes. All because I received a text from a wrong number that said, "Hey baby." FML

#21400981
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31998) - you deserved it (3357)

On 04/28/2015 at 1:32am - love - by Groomzilla? - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

#21400331
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26119) - you deserved it (8989)

On 04/26/2015 at 11:12pm - misc - by rookiemistake (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

#21399850
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32364) - you deserved it (3078)

On 04/26/2015 at 4:19am - love - by fuck you (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

#21399833
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31839) - you deserved it (2479)

On 04/26/2015 at 3:09am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML

#21399752
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29790) - you deserved it (8833)

On 04/26/2015 at 12:05am - intimacy - by montanadinosaur (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we passed and I heard her say "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML

#21399622
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29079) - you deserved it (2291)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

#21399557
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38644) - you deserved it (2784)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm - love - by RBergman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

#21399489
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33743) - you deserved it (5236)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

#21399378
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31092) - you deserved it (2492)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:34am - love - by a critically injured shitehawk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

#21399141
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30083) - you deserved it (3557)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by anonymousyo - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

#21399079
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36967) - you deserved it (2440)

On 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Laois)

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

#21398963
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28001) - you deserved it (3106)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:07am - intimacy - by someoneneedsassistance - United States (Virginia)



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