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Zeus99's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/06/2016 at 10:31am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 8:55am / Ukraine (Kyyiv) / Love
by missmcfarty / 03/31/2016 at 9:42pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, I introduced my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years to my friends. I told him how my friends jokingly call him my imaginary Internet boyfriend. He thought it was so funny that when they met, he claimed to be my cousin, saying that I paid him to pretend to be my boyfriend. They believed him. FML
by Anonymous / 03/30/2016 at 2:53am / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating after she read some of my messages I sent to an old female friend. Apparently I'm very flirty with her. I showed her the same kind of messages that I sent to my guy friends as well. Now I'm apparently gay and cheating. FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2016 at 12:46am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/26/2016 at 10:53pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by joanikens / 03/26/2016 at 3:02pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/24/2016 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/23/2016 at 10:36am / United States (Virginia) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 4:56pm / United States / Love
Today, a man kept talking and laughing like an idiot all through the movie I was watching. I thought he was high, so I called him a moron and told him to shut the hell up. It turned out he wasn't high. He was just "special". FML
by soembarassed / 03/18/2016 at 2:26pm / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Miscellaneous
by ANON / 03/18/2016 at 12:04pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by sick of this shit / 03/12/2016 at 8:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was using the urinal at work when an old guy started using the one next to mine. All of a sudden, he used that Ghostbusters' line, "Cross the streams!", and tried to pee into my urinal. I had to wait 4 hours in pee-drenched shoes until my shift was over. FML
by NotASquirrel / 03/12/2016 at 12:29am / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/11/2016 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
- Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, I found myself completely naked, tied to a chair with a slice of ham on each breast. Note to… Today, my economics teacher gives us a lot of photocopies, so I told her that she kills pandas by…