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Zeus99

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Zeus99

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3232
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zeus99's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:23pm

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Zeus99's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

#21414312
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27905) - you deserved it (2116)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27766) - you deserved it (4558)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, was my first experience having sex. It was also my first experience with a condom breaking. FML

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

#21413959
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30820) - you deserved it (2698)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

#21411735
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27930) - you deserved it (4022)

On 05/17/2015 at 10:54pm - intimacy - by fuckingdonuts - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was finishing my chest workout at the gym when this really cute girl started using the machine next to me. To impress her, I tried lifting a lot of weight on the barbell. It ended up landing on my neck and she had to help me get it off. FML

#21411484
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13612) - you deserved it (29993)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:53pm - health - by Idle_Twin - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML

#21411283
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29447) - you deserved it (2277)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32822) - you deserved it (2395)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my overly-clean mum decided to drop by and surprise me by cleaning my house while I was out jogging. She used half a bottle of bleach, and now it hurts to blink, let alone breathe. FML

#21410694
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27723) - you deserved it (2654)

On 05/15/2015 at 8:51pm - misc - by pasha - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

#21410667
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30607) - you deserved it (2004)

On 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

#21410572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33328) - you deserved it (2594)

On 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by nazirah4shizzle (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my little sister knocking on my door. Today's my birthday, so I thought she'd surprise me with something. Instead, she just asked me, "How's it feel to be a year older and still alone?" I just turned 20. The truth hurts. FML

Today, I got a friend request on Facebook. It's from the person who crashed into my car earlier in the month. It's funny that she doesn't return my calls or messages, but liked my status about the accident. FML

#21409756
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27451) - you deserved it (1816)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:55pm - work - by iamgodzilla (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was feeling pretty, so I wore a skirt for the first time in years. Two hours later, my thighs hurt from slapping together so much. I no longer feel pretty. FML

#21407700
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28465) - you deserved it (4529)

On 05/10/2015 at 9:47am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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