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Zeus99

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Zeus99

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4148
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zeus99's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:23pm

Zeus99's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Zeus99's favorite FMLs

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

#21504691
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24583) - you deserved it (2119)

On 12/17/2015 at 4:10am - intimacy - by NotSoComfortable (man) - Italy (Veneto)

Today, my husband came home from a six-month business trip. When I saw him, I hugged and kissed him. My grandma started calling me a slutty whore, and told us we were a disgrace to our family, while trying to hit him with her cane. FML

#21504229
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23584) - you deserved it (1469)

On 12/15/2015 at 11:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to my mentally unhinged roommate jacking off to a frozen TV frame of Peggy Hill from King of the Hill. When he saw me, he threw an ash tray at me and told me to get out. FML

#21501232
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21578) - you deserved it (1860)

On 12/07/2015 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, at college, I walked in on some kid jerking off in front of the bathroom sink. This place never ceases to amaze and disgust me. FML

#21500213
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21914) - you deserved it (1595)

On 12/04/2015 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

#21499606
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23432) - you deserved it (3460)

On 12/03/2015 at 7:52am - intimacy - by snortingspunk (woman) - South Africa

Today, a police officer pulled me over. He asked me where I was headed, so I jokingly replied, "Probably to jail after you run my name". He laughed and took my information, only to then arrest me for unpaid parking tickets I never received. FML

#21499273
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20442) - you deserved it (7883)

On 12/02/2015 at 9:34am - misc - by Nightbird827 (man) -

Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parent's bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML

#21497961
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20109) - you deserved it (26732)

On 11/28/2015 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by aj513 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML

#21496296
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25796) - you deserved it (2671)

On 11/24/2015 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Zug)

Today, I was jerking off quietly so my roommates wouldn't hear me. In the middle of it, one of them sent me a screenshot of an error message on a porn site, asking if I was having the same problem. I guess I wasn't being so quiet after all. FML

#21496209
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20531) - you deserved it (6116)

On 11/24/2015 at 8:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend and I were having a casual discussion about sex. Blowjobs came up and my friend said she'd never dared to give one, arguing that swallowing sperm can make you pregnant. I then had to go on with a 30 minute argument with her on how that's not possible. She's 26. FML

#21494508
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25945) - you deserved it (2030)

On 11/19/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by LilPie - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having sex with someone I've been casually seeing. He got all weird during it, and said, "That's a good girl". Once he left, I told my housemates about it. Now every time I do something nice for them, they respond, "That's a good girl". FML

#21490607
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24376) - you deserved it (7154)

On 11/09/2015 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by bianca131 (woman) - Australia

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

#21489374
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24300) - you deserved it (1997)

On 11/06/2015 at 9:03pm - health - by Anonymouse -

Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML

#21489306
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22120) - you deserved it (5537)

On 11/06/2015 at 5:39pm - misc - by honk honk, fuckwad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was intently watching my odometer to see it change from 99,999 to 100,000 when I ran into the back of another vehicle. FML

#21484127
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12623) - you deserved it (29578)

On 10/25/2015 at 9:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

#21483617
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29386) - you deserved it (5737) - Translated from the version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/23/2015 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Walter (man) - Spain



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