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Zeus99

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Zeus99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1741
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zeus99's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:23pm

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Zeus99's favorite FMLs

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40645) - you deserved it (2730)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML

#21311373
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29835) - you deserved it (12661)

On 12/04/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by Red (man) -

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

#21310722
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18239) - you deserved it (36063)

On 12/03/2014 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

#21310030
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37133) - you deserved it (2611)

On 12/02/2014 at 10:42am - love - by braceforcarnage (man) - United States

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML

#21309730
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42279) - you deserved it (8498)

On 12/01/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42116) - you deserved it (10672)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32640) - you deserved it (4221)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

#21308641
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29998) - you deserved it (17516)

On 11/30/2014 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend went to work instead of going to my father's funeral. He works at home and chooses his own hours. FML

#21308437
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33916) - you deserved it (2841)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by .... - United States (Illinois)

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

#21306727
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30591) - you deserved it (6071)

On 11/27/2014 at 10:13am - love - by fart - United States (Michigan)

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33780) - you deserved it (5336)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36142) - you deserved it (4232)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

#21303901
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37368) - you deserved it (4266)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Kilkenny)

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33529) - you deserved it (3689)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States



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