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Zeus99

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Zeus99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3268
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zeus99's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:23pm

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Zeus99's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML

#21429134
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22441) - you deserved it (17953)

On 06/20/2015 at 4:54pm - misc - by happycow122 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

#21427104
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (6037)

On 06/16/2015 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by bootyislife (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

#21426414
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31816) - you deserved it (5003)

On 06/15/2015 at 10:49am - animals - by justin Bieber - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

#21425403
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38275) - you deserved it (4194)

On 06/13/2015 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35262) - you deserved it (6972)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my apparently insane and now ex-girlfriend actually claimed she didn't technically cheat on me, because she set her Facebook relationship to "single" before screwing my brother. FML

#21423879
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30232) - you deserved it (1807)

On 06/10/2015 at 11:28am - intimacy - by waiting till marriage, she said (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I made out with a boy for the first time. I belched into his mouth. FML

#21420681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24397) - you deserved it (5661)

On 06/04/2015 at 12:21pm - love - by NoMoreTacoBell - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

#21420551
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28863) - you deserved it (3213)

On 06/04/2015 at 1:59am - misc - by bloody hell (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML

#21420235
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27199) - you deserved it (5409)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:36pm - health - by YuckyDuckyLucky - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29463) - you deserved it (3954)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has been denying me sex isn't because he is scared of someone walking in on us. It's because his blow-up doll pleasures him more than I do. FML

#21417148
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29698) - you deserved it (4769)

On 05/28/2015 at 2:05pm - intimacy - by MarieAmber18 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend having sex with another woman. They told me to leave so they could finish, and that "we'll all talk this over later." FML

#21416749
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36056) - you deserved it (2403)

On 05/27/2015 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by hellno (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML

#21416617
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36654) - you deserved it (3170)

On 05/27/2015 at 12:25pm - work - by UN4 (man) - United States



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