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Zeus99

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Zeus99

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2653
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zeus99's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:23pm

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Zeus99's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

#21400331
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19491) - you deserved it (6641)

On 04/26/2015 at 11:12pm - misc - by rookiemistake (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

#21399850
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25340) - you deserved it (2440)

On 04/26/2015 at 4:19am - love - by fuck you (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

#21399833
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25222) - you deserved it (1941)

On 04/26/2015 at 3:09am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML

#21399752
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24071) - you deserved it (7099)

On 04/26/2015 at 12:05am - intimacy - by montanadinosaur (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we passed and I heard her say "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML

#21399622
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24037) - you deserved it (1966)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

#21399557
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30957) - you deserved it (2240)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm - love - by RBergman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

#21399489
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27064) - you deserved it (4181)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

#21399378
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26197) - you deserved it (2129)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:34am - love - by a critically injured shitehawk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

#21399141
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26211) - you deserved it (3149)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by anonymousyo - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

#21399079
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31121) - you deserved it (2147)

On 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Laois)

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

#21398963
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24693) - you deserved it (2845)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:07am - intimacy - by someoneneedsassistance - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML

Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML

#21398482
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32159) - you deserved it (2474)

On 04/23/2015 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

#21381329
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31350) - you deserved it (4076)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

#21378507
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27311) - you deserved it (2064)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by ~__~ -



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