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Zeus99

Offline (the 01/25/2015 at 5:28am) | Search for a member

Zeus99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1922
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zeus99's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:23pm

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Zeus99's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

#21343357
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27116) - you deserved it (3367)

On 01/24/2015 at 9:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw selfies of my aunt and her friends on Facebook having a great time. They took the pictures at my mother's funeral last week. FML

#21343089
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31561) - you deserved it (2002)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML

#21343084
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27892) - you deserved it (1990)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

#21342247
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37727) - you deserved it (3157)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

#21341327
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27356) - you deserved it (10099)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm - intimacy - by chelse_elyce - United States

Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML

#21341250
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26855) - you deserved it (6018)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm - misc - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

#21340142
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30695) - you deserved it (6366)

On 01/19/2015 at 9:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend when I began dozing off. I was then awoken by an explosive fart. It was me. FML

#21340117
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28793) - you deserved it (4806)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

#21339980
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33876) - you deserved it (5224)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

#21339686
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37768) - you deserved it (3280)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm - misc - by pissed out pants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML

#21336880
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29691) - you deserved it (5663)

On 01/14/2015 at 8:58am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my little brother walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex and threatened to tell my parents. I paid him $30 to keep quiet. 15 minutes later he told them. FML

#21335701
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32199) - you deserved it (11574)

On 01/12/2015 at 11:43am - intimacy - by bowler99 - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

#21335578
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29368) - you deserved it (5831)

On 01/12/2015 at 2:56am - intimacy - by briiiiiiii123 - United States (New York)

Today, I paid someone $30 to give me a hickey so I could prove I had a social life. FML

#21335329
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19471) - you deserved it (21477)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:46pm - love - by thirsty af - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17678) - you deserved it (25917)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)



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