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Zeus99's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband and I had our first prenatal appointment. My doctor told us we shouldn't have sex during the first trimester, "just to be safe". He has no evidence to back this, but now my husband is too scared to touch me. FML
by 2.5-long-months / 07/28/2016 at 9:49am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Foot In Mouth / 07/12/2016 at 10:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work
by nightjay / 07/11/2016 at 10:32am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by goldendarkness / 07/08/2016 at 9:34pm / Miscellaneous
by EevieBear / 06/25/2016 at 5:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
by Naulwenn / 06/23/2016 at 12:25am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/22/2016 at 6:13pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by poorbeauty / 06/10/2016 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I broke up with my fiancé after he cheated on me, and he now refuses to move out of the apartment. I'm even contemplating just offering him my Xbox One as a bribe so I can get him out of my life for good. FML
by Rari / 06/09/2016 at 12:04pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I went to get my first acupuncture. The doctor was a cute Korean woman, so I tried to start a conversation. When she pricked me with a needle near the tailbone, I involuntarily let one loose and saw her gag. FML
by Revelyn / 06/03/2016 at 6:18pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Imagino1234 / 06/02/2016 at 12:32pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
by Lazyuser2849 / 06/01/2016 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my husband returned from being away for two weeks. I eagerly got myself ready and sent him a risqué picture so he would come to bed. An hour later, he's on the couch playing Xbox with the message already seen. FML
by ChopSuey / 06/01/2016 at 12:02am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some alone time under the stars. Things were getting hot and heavy in my truck bed and clothes went everywhere. After getting dressed, I felt pain. Little did I know that I threw my underwear in an ant pile. I got bit down south, a lot. FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2016 at 12:35pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, a lady came for a death certificate at the city hall reception where I work. Reflexively, I… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.…