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Zeus99

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Zeus99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1708
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zeus99's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:23pm

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Zeus99's favorite FMLs

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

#21306727
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23684) - you deserved it (4629)

On 11/27/2014 at 10:13am - love - by fart - United States (Michigan)

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27174) - you deserved it (4306)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32290) - you deserved it (3992)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

#21303901
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34193) - you deserved it (4096)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Kilkenny)

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (3627)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured "ehh a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27933) - you deserved it (7948)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

#21303377
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30330) - you deserved it (4039)

On 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm - misc - by Veronica - United States (California)

Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML

#21303116
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28661) - you deserved it (3484)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:11am - work - by TJ AJ RJ / IV the V - United States (California)

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

#21300331
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31449) - you deserved it (3297)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by no - United States

Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML

#21299949
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34378) - you deserved it (3401)

On 11/16/2014 at 12:29am - kids - by wtfdad - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

#21299790
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30158) - you deserved it (4274)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by omgdesdes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43569) - you deserved it (3828)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

#21297310
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34317) - you deserved it (4381)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was so lonely, I caught myself whispering to my food just so I had someone to talk to. FML

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

#21296136
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42440) - you deserved it (4026)

On 11/10/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by SisterOfTard (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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