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Zeus5

Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 1:08pm) | Search for a member

Zeus5

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 189
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zeus5's page activity

Visits<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 1:22am<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:13am<b>Stazza11</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:13am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 12:16am<b>obeykiddsmalls</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 6:22pm<b>Andreeya</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:41am<b>djoudjou7598</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 8:36am<b>tangerine06</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 4:05pm<b>theinformer</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 6:09pm<b>krishk123</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 5:52pm<b>the_zero_article</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 3:10pm<b>shucks101</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:52pm<b>rybaby23</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 10:22am<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 7:37am<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 1:32pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 11:36am<b>casual_commenter</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 4:25am<b>daffyduck16</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 11:28pm

Zeus5's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Zeus5's badges

Zeus5's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41605) - you deserved it (13574)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML

#21194001
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53482) - you deserved it (3803)

On 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm - love - by outoflove (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML

#21192852
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42758) - you deserved it (15250)

On 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

#21180887
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45260) - you deserved it (4707)

On 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm - love - by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I decided to tell my family, including my husband, that I'm pregnant. Their reaction was basically a "meh" before returning to watching the World Cup. FML

#21176835
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45471) - you deserved it (8968)

On 06/16/2014 at 2:50pm - misc - by FMeeee (woman) - Portugal (Aveiro)

Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML

#21176636
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52920) - you deserved it (7405)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Germany

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

#21158441
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50855) - you deserved it (7130)

On 05/31/2014 at 5:30pm - kids - by idiot says "you raised him" (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

#21158075
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53847) - you deserved it (7359)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:40am - love - by damn it rose (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was tanning nude in my backyard, when I took a picture of our dog lying in the grass and sent it to my dad. It was only after I looked at the picture indoors that I realized my nipple had made it into the picture too. FML

#21086753
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37518) - you deserved it (32455)

On 03/14/2014 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by why - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61181) - you deserved it (9112)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went out and met somebody. We got talking and we both realized we are each the ideal romantic partner for the other. The only problem is we are both straight men. FML

#20809215
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50017) - you deserved it (7419)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:35am - love - by confusedmofo - Indonesia

Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML

#20632198
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52916) - you deserved it (4997)

On 04/30/2013 at 3:54am - money - by ShowerGirl (woman) - United States

Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML

#20413704
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40849) - you deserved it (13744)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by brunetteshavemorefun (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML

#20119331
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19455) - you deserved it (11070)

On 10/16/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by bargainshopper (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80501) - you deserved it (6029)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -



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