[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Zeus44456

Search for a member

Zeus44456
  • Town/Country : Erin, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 January 1995 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 381
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Zeus44456's last visitors

Tequilamockngbrdflying_vegan

Zeus44456's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Zeus44456's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

#6382728 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (22527) - you deserved it (1811)

On 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by WhyTheEff (man) - United States (California)

Today, my iPod dropped out of my pocket while I was walking. Trying to be cool, I attempted to kick it back into the air to catch it before it hit the ground. Upon making contact with my foot, It ended up detaching from my headphones and flying 10 feet. Right into a sewer grate. FML

#6356317 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (4980) - you deserved it (43784)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Adam (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

#6355609 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (10670) - you deserved it (19346)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - animals - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I auditioned for a part and made it because the director thought I would be "perfect" for the part and I was "just like the character in every way." The part is for a schizophrenic drug addict who everyone hates and is stabbed to death in the second scene. FML

#6274583 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (18589) - you deserved it (2628)

On 11/12/2009 at 4:37pm - work - by Falafax (man) - United States

Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML

#6147856 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (26264) - you deserved it (1347)

On 11/04/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by burned (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML

#6147430 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (25916) - you deserved it (3038)

On 11/04/2009 at 3:44am - misc - by ishouldhidethekeys (woman) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML

#6145601 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (28635) - you deserved it (3603)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized that sometimes I forget to turn off my desk light when I leave the room for dinner. I also learned that said desk light can get hot enough to melt plastic, which is why my brand-new laptop screen was literally oozing onto the table top when I got back. FML

#5946128 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (21729) - you deserved it (7654)

On 10/22/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned that if you're going to tell your mother you are gay, make sure she isn't holding a frying pan filled with hot grease. FML

#5530332 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (46180) - you deserved it (9814)

On 09/28/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I fell off my desk chair. Why? I failed to notice that the screws I'd been finding on the floor around my room for the past few months belonged to said chair. FML

#5455728 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (7015) - you deserved it (18586)

On 09/24/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML

#5327120 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (22730) - you deserved it (4409)

On 09/18/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by ben (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

#5006277 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (11349) - you deserved it (26960)

On 09/02/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by ooops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#4728013 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (30185) - you deserved it (3655)

On 08/22/2009 at 2:29am - kids - by NoCookForYou (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

#4462410 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (922) - you deserved it (2437)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

#4186568 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (10322) - you deserved it (47922)

On 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by ohhmydamn (woman) - United States (Alabama)