Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zeus

Search for a member

Zeus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1590
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Zeus's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:23pm<b>JBiz</b> - the 09/14/2009 at 8:15am<b>metalyoshi9</b> - the 04/06/2009 at 1:11pm

Zeus's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Zeus's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML

#5537780
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34065) - you deserved it (1889)

On 09/28/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by shield1123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

#5529870
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42510) - you deserved it (3199)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

#5354968
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71190) - you deserved it (3740)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by weddingcrashed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11627) - you deserved it (70491)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, there were some wasps getting in my bedroom from a hole in the frame of my window. I went outside with some spray and took out their entrance. What I didnt know is that when you spray wasps, they go the other direction. I now have 60+ wasps flying around my bedroom. FML

#4608899
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31408) - you deserved it (22741)

On 08/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by BearGrillz - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, there were some wasps getting in my bedroom from a hole in the frame of my window. I went outside with some spray and took out their entrance. What I didnt know is that when you spray wasps, they go the other direction. I now have 60+ wasps flying around my bedroom. FML

#4608899
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31408) - you deserved it (22741)

On 08/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by BearGrillz - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

#4596913
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60509) - you deserved it (13261)

On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

#4499935
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7461) - you deserved it (58050)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by soapgirl (woman) - Philippines (Pampanga)

Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

#4285773
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15214) - you deserved it (34597)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66838) - you deserved it (15307)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17141) - you deserved it (68384)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I was involved in a car accident. I wasn't the driver of either car. I happened to be a passerby that was hit by a falling stop sign as a car hit it. FML

#3660807
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51008) - you deserved it (2347)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by ttsutaoka (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: