Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ZeroKnights

Search for a member

ZeroKnights

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1102
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ZeroKnights's page activity

Visits<b>cruu22</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 6:37pm<b>Korro</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 7:10am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:07pm

ZeroKnights's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ZeroKnights's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how I'm self conscious about my weight. He looks at me and says, "Don't worry babe, I've always been kind of a chubby chaser." FML

#6430848
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23023) - you deserved it (7021)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:03am - health - by cc (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML

#6238334
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26955) - you deserved it (14161)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Dummy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I arranged the food on my plate in a smiley face to try and make myself feel better. I'm a 38 year old man. It worked. FML

#6186259
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29998) - you deserved it (5434)

On 11/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I woke up to find my face all red and swollen. Turns out it is caused by the medication I’ve been taking for over a week now. Only in very rare cases it will cause redness on your skin. I’m glad to know I’m special. FML

#5974097
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25836) - you deserved it (2699)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by sexyswollen (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I woke up at 3am after 2 hours sleep to get to my 7.40am interview with the Air Force. I went through a full medical check, a psych test and an interview with military personnel, was there for 7 hours with no food and only water to drink, only to be told I wasn't suited to the position I applied for. FML

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

#5822673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21738) - you deserved it (12179)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a ticket for having my brights on. The street was pitch black and it was 1:30 in the morning. FML

#5681167
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32189) - you deserved it (6082)

On 10/06/2009 at 11:44am - misc - by ticket - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I talked to a girl on the phone who had previously told me her last relationship "ended very badly." I said, "So let me guess, that jerk cheated on you?" She paused for a few moments and finally replied, "No, he died in a motorcycle accident." FML

#5526901
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36759) - you deserved it (19343)

On 09/28/2009 at 1:34pm - love - by Greg (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML

#5451406
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48542) - you deserved it (4234)

On 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm - work - by ewewew (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my whole family thinks my girlfriend is imaginary. I sent her a text in front of them telling her that. She never responded. FML

#5386120
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42801) - you deserved it (5304)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:16am - love - by Imaginary girlfriend - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!". He got mad and left my house. It was my dad from Ohio. FML

#3904577
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47078) - you deserved it (4248)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:03pm - love - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States

Today, I spent most of my morning comforting the guy I love because his fiancée dumped him for some other guy. He continuously told me I had no clue that kind of pain he was in. He dumped me three years ago for the girl that just left him. FML

#3646949
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56754) - you deserved it (8773)

On 07/10/2009 at 6:28pm - love - by Shadowfigure23 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

#3333969
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45205) - you deserved it (11422)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into a gas station and saw some $.25 gum. It looked good and I thought I'd had a quarter in my pocket. I find no change in my pocket once I get to the register, so I pull out my credit card. The cashier laughs a few seconds later. My card was declined for a piece of gum. FML

#3327464
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33679) - you deserved it (14023)

On 06/29/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by DeniedAgain (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, McDonalds charged me 21 cents for a honey mustard packet. The jerk manager made me break a $50 bill. So I grabbed all their napkins, carried them into the parking lot and tossed them all into the air in protest and drove off. Down the road, I realized I left my wallet at the counter. FML

#3117856
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13149) - you deserved it (75446)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: