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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2452
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ZeroKnights's page activity

Visits<b>cruu22</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 6:37pm<b>Korro</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 7:10am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:07pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 6:49am

ZeroKnights's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ZeroKnights's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how I'm self conscious about my weight. He looks at me and says, "Don't worry babe, I've always been kind of a chubby chaser." FML

by cc / 11/24/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML

by Dummy / 11/10/2009 at 12:47am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I arranged the food on my plate in a smiley face to try and make myself feel better. I'm a 38 year old man. It worked. FML

by Anon / 11/06/2009 at 7:32pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find my face all red and swollen. Turns out it is caused by the medication I’ve been taking for over a week now. Only in very rare cases it will cause redness on your skin. I’m glad to know I’m special. FML

by sexyswollen / 10/24/2009 at 1:14pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up at 3am after 2 hours sleep to get to my 7.40am interview with the Air Force. I went through a full medical check, a psych test and an interview with military personnel, was there for 7 hours with no food and only water to drink, only to be told I wasn't suited to the position I applied for. FML

by Fail. / 10/20/2009 at 1:43am / Australia (South Australia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a ticket for having my brights on. The street was pitch black and it was 1:30 in the morning. FML

by ticket / 10/06/2009 at 11:44am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Transportation

Today, I talked to a girl on the phone who had previously told me her last relationship "ended very badly." I said, "So let me guess, that jerk cheated on you?" She paused for a few moments and finally replied, "No, he died in a motorcycle accident." FML

by Greg / 09/28/2009 at 1:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML

by ewewew / 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I found out that my whole family thinks my girlfriend is imaginary. I sent her a text in front of them telling her that. She never responded. FML

by Imaginary girlfriend / 09/21/2009 at 12:16am / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!". He got mad and left my house. It was my dad from Ohio. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 07/20/2009 at 12:03pm / United States / Love

Today, I spent most of my morning comforting the guy I love because his fiancée dumped him for some other guy. He continuously told me I had no clue that kind of pain he was in. He dumped me three years ago for the girl that just left him. FML

by Shadowfigure23 / 07/10/2009 at 6:28pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

by merkris / 06/29/2009 at 11:41am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into a gas station and saw some $.25 gum. It looked good and I thought I'd had a quarter in my pocket. I find no change in my pocket once I get to the register, so I pull out my credit card. The cashier laughs a few seconds later. My card was declined for a piece of gum. FML

by DeniedAgain / 06/29/2009 at 12:04am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, McDonalds charged me 21 cents for a honey mustard packet. The jerk manager made me break a $50 bill. So I grabbed all their napkins, carried them into the parking lot and tossed them all into the air in protest and drove off. Down the road, I realized I left my wallet at the counter. FML

by Jesse / 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous