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ZeroKnights

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ZeroKnights
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 778
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ZeroKnights's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

#9994288
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34027) - you deserved it (8855)

On 04/19/2010 at 4:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML

#9068336
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19915) - you deserved it (10947)

On 03/14/2010 at 6:21am - misc - by Vegetarian (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML

#8529668
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21430) - you deserved it (2794)

On 02/21/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Court - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

#8472938
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7860) - you deserved it (25849)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:58am - misc - by Rach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was showing off pictures of me to co-workers. It wasn't until later that he said, "Don't worry, they were old pictures, from when you were hot." They were from four years ago. FML

#8271296
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21782) - you deserved it (3524)

On 02/14/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by Vgameboi (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

#8250207
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16396) - you deserved it (2260)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:52pm - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

#7780958
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30831) - you deserved it (3396)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was babysitting three little kids. I decided to give one of them (a seven-year-old) a piggy-back ride, thinking I'm strong enough. I managed to get a few feet before faceplanting on the wooden floor. She is fine though, no pain or anything. My face took the impact for both of us. FML

#7693157
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7836) - you deserved it (20572)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:05am - kids - by ouchy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I used the Print Screen button to take a picture of a really cute bag that I want for my birthday. After emailing it to my mom, I noticed I'd forgotten to close another tab in the browser. The tab had a very suggestive title, for an even more suggestive website. FML

#7568071
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4824) - you deserved it (26482)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:21pm - misc - by lala (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

#7430497
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24795) - you deserved it (5583)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Fatlady43 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove 4 hours to see my girlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on being friends. FML

#7404884
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27833) - you deserved it (1863)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:30pm - love - by longtrip (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I saw my dad help himself to a sex stamina drink. He and mom share the hotel bed next to mine. FML

#7336128
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15198) - you deserved it (1852)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:54am - intimacy - by windskurfer - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I had fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML

#7004520
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14387) - you deserved it (8121)

On 12/29/2009 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a new laptop for Christmas. The picture on the box showed a woman balancing it on one finger to show how light it was, so I tried it myself. I dropped my laptop, breaking the hard drive and putting a massive crack down the screen. FML

#6953909
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5451) - you deserved it (83606)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was preparing for a huge party I've been looking forward to for months. I did all the usual things a girl should do, put on a facemask, painted my nails, exfoliated... I was feeling confident until I peeled off the facemask. I guess when it said "vibrant" what it meant was bright red. FML

#6705319
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18797) - you deserved it (7279)

On 12/11/2009 at 2:50am - health - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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