ZeroKnights

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ZeroKnights

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2264
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ZeroKnights's page activity

Visits<b>cruu22</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 6:37pm<b>Korro</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 7:10am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:07pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 6:49am

ZeroKnights's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ZeroKnights's favorite FMLs

Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML

by Emma / 08/01/2011 at 5:29pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML

by notabeliever / 07/29/2011 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I came across the topic of school while chatting. He asked me what high school I went to and where I moved from. I have lived here my whole life, he was my crush for four years, and was in my classes throughout those years. He doesn't believe me. FML

by steph2052 / 07/12/2011 at 8:51pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML

by anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 11:21am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

by ugh / 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML

by sheyshey0413 / 06/13/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML

by Unemployed / 06/02/2011 at 12:40am / United States / Work

Today, my mother went shopping. She bought three boxes of Popsicles and a giant stuffed dog. She did not buy dinner or toilet paper. I've eaten nothing but cereal and popcorn for three days now. FML

by FeedMe / 05/27/2011 at 6:45am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML

by eewww / 05/06/2011 at 11:47am / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, at 11 weeks pregnant, I excitedly told my best friend that my baby now has fingernails. Her response was, "You're beginning to sound like a pro-life bumper sticker." FML

by CRH / 05/03/2011 at 11:41am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML

by drunkluv / 04/11/2011 at 10:58pm / Australia / Love

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to break down and cry because his mother hates me for unknown reasons. I walked in, gave him a long hug, and started sobbing. I then saw his mother. She was visiting him to complain about how terrible a person I am. FML

by terrible person / 04/04/2011 at 5:29am / Love

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

by Username / 03/12/2011 at 12:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

by thenotsomanlyman / 03/07/2011 at 11:17am / United States / Animals

Today, I tried a new sugar scrub soap that's supposed to help get rid of cellulite. I didn't read the instructions correctly and now as well as still having the cellulite, my butt looks like I got a massage from an angry cat. FML

by shirley / 02/27/2011 at 9:20pm / Spain / Health