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ZeroKnights

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ZeroKnights

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 917
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ZeroKnights's page activity

Visits<b>cruu22</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 6:37pm<b>Korro</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 7:10am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:07pm

ZeroKnights's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ZeroKnights's favorite FMLs

Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML

#17334083
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25118) - you deserved it (2893)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:29pm - misc - by Emma - United States (New York)

Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML

#17293531
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22935) - you deserved it (6375)

On 07/29/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by notabeliever - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I came across the topic of school while chatting. He asked me what high school I went to and where I moved from. I have lived here my whole life, he was my crush for four years, and was in my classes throughout those years. He doesn't believe me. FML

#17085145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30318) - you deserved it (2593)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:51pm - love - by steph2052 - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML

#16999311
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22812) - you deserved it (2491)

On 07/06/2011 at 11:21am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

#16661318
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36529) - you deserved it (3468)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML

#16644448
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40653) - you deserved it (6200)

On 06/13/2011 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sheyshey0413 - United States (Florida)

Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML

#16462261
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27690) - you deserved it (2907)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:40am - work - by Unemployed (man) - United States

Today, my mother went shopping. She bought three boxes of Popsicles and a giant stuffed dog. She did not buy dinner or toilet paper. I've eaten nothing but cereal and popcorn for three days now. FML

#16369403
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31886) - you deserved it (5064)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:45am - animals - by FeedMe (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML

#16067039
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32710) - you deserved it (3228)

On 05/06/2011 at 11:47am - misc - by eewww (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at 11 weeks pregnant, I excitedly told my best friend that my baby now has fingernails. Her response was, "You're beginning to sound like a pro-life bumper sticker." FML

#16031516
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23288) - you deserved it (18429)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:41am - misc - by CRH (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML

#15747927
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29573) - you deserved it (3726)

On 04/11/2011 at 10:58pm - love - by drunkluv - Australia

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to break down and cry because his mother hates me for unknown reasons. I walked in, gave him a long hug, and started sobbing. I then saw his mother. She was visiting him to complain about how terrible a person I am. FML

#15632605
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32383) - you deserved it (4955)

On 04/04/2011 at 5:29am - love - by terrible person -

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44766) - you deserved it (7634)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

#15228646
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10461) - you deserved it (36337)

On 03/07/2011 at 11:17am - misc - by thenotsomanlyman - United States

Today, I tried a new sugar scrub soap that's supposed to help get rid of cellulite. I didn't read the instructions correctly and now as well as still having the cellulite, my butt looks like I got a massage from an angry cat. FML

#15144008
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5665) - you deserved it (26525)

On 02/27/2011 at 9:20pm - health - by shirley (woman) - Spain



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