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ZeroKnights

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ZeroKnights

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 927
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ZeroKnights's page activity

Visits<b>cruu22</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 6:37pm<b>Korro</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 7:10am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:07pm

ZeroKnights's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ZeroKnights's favorite FMLs

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

#18968105
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34904) - you deserved it (3223)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:11am - work - by ABBenzin (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

#18630466
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31189) - you deserved it (3100)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML

#18529063
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26641) - you deserved it (4451)

On 12/16/2011 at 5:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad announced to the whole family that we will be having a vegetarian dinner this Christmas to make my step-mum happy. FML

#18392103
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31163) - you deserved it (5045)

On 11/30/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by BFH4Life (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31090) - you deserved it (15509)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

#18286720
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37992) - you deserved it (30999)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States

Today, my sister had a friend for a sleepover. They filmed a video in which the friend was lying in my bed, singing. An hour after the girl went home, her parents called. She has lice, and had brought them to our house unknowingly. I can see each and every individual larva on my pillow. FML

#18003524
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34664) - you deserved it (2268)

On 10/17/2011 at 12:04am - animals - by minder97 - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was watching my cousin shoot at targets on hay bales with his plastic pellet BB gun. After my sister asked him if it would hurt to be shot with one, my cousin smiled at her and said, "Ask your sister" as he shot me in the leg. I think my screaming was obvious enough. It hurts. FML

#17995977
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26229) - you deserved it (2819)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:06am - misc - by ThanksChris (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after a root canal, I went to the pharmacy for some pain killers. The cute girl behind the counter asked what I needed. When I opened my mouth to tell her, a wave of drool hurtled out and splattered on the counter. FML

#17952669
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31067) - you deserved it (3454)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:44pm - love - by maninpain - Kenya

Today, I met my new dentist. His teeth are worse than mine. FML

#17863482
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25249) - you deserved it (2612)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:20pm - health - by Vxale (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

#17734043
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32093) - you deserved it (4152)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by stillkindahorny - United States

Today, my mother offered to pay for my tickets to go see my girlfriend who I haven't seen for 6 months. She was happy to pay for the £130 flight, but then refused half way through the purchase because she wasn't going to "let the buggers charge £13 extra" for using her credit card. FML

#17668770
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21776) - you deserved it (3025)

On 09/05/2011 at 7:32am - misc - by Grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, while going around trying to find a job, a manager came up to ask me, "Are you looking to work here?" I nodded happily, hoping this would be the end of my search. She looked me up and down, saw I had a jacket on to hide my tattoos and said, "Sorry, I can't hire heroin addicts." FML

#17555220
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27287) - you deserved it (9541)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:50am - work - by Protectress (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

#17507228
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9744) - you deserved it (34258)

On 08/18/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working at a McDonald's drive-through, some dicks decided to pull a "fire in the hole" prank. Granted, it has been done to me before, this time was different. These pleasant people decided to use hot coffee. FML

#17446710
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25873) - you deserved it (2177)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:26am - work - by viperplay53 - United States



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