ZeroKnights

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ZeroKnights

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2513
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ZeroKnights's page activity

Visits<b>cruu22</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 6:37pm<b>Korro</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 7:10am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:07pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 6:49am

ZeroKnights's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ZeroKnights's favorite FMLs

Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML

by straightlyconfused / 05/27/2012 at 9:20am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML

by Notasinner / 05/24/2012 at 6:39pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally told my roommate, who doesn't pay rent, to go get a job. He left, came back, and immediately went to my refrigerator to eat. I asked him about his job and what his pay is. Apparently, putting together a bike for a kid is a job. FML

by hunterjumper1212 / 05/24/2012 at 3:41am / United States (California) / Money

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

by Jaclk / 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized just how bad my problem with making eye contact is, when I caught myself looking the other way when the singer in a music video looked directly at the camera. FML

by suhleedah18 / 04/24/2012 at 2:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2012 at 12:46am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML

by ilovechickens / 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm / United States / Animals

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

by baldspot / 04/02/2012 at 1:38am / Australia / Kids

Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't know what burned more, when it went down or when it came back up. FML

by halfasleep / 03/27/2012 at 10:00am / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML

by jennag5 / 03/24/2012 at 2:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

by justgreat / 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML

by lyla / 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

by banned / 03/09/2012 at 1:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2012 at 1:05am / United States / Transportation

Today, I discovered that you can't always assume your little brother is kidding when he says that you have a spider on top of your head. FML

by thatoneperson / 02/17/2012 at 7:43am / United States (Virginia) / Kids