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Zerizle

Offline (the 02/01/2016 at 8:22pm) | Search for a member

Zerizle

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7000
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Zerizle's page activity

Visits<b>LonelyBoy5920</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 9:39pm<b>melons</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 2:16pm<b>bagelbaron</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 6:32am<b>Starksrule</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 9:38pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 4:24pm<b>ScarredVox92</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:06am<b>onlychildFTW</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 11:31am<b>cartermccarroll</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 3:13am<b>daken96</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:28pm<b>Sam_Dchi</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:30am<b>bc3091</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 9:53pm<b>jdhyche</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:09am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:23pm<b>Koolaidandtacos</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 5:36am<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:02am<b>ThePiGuy</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 10:59am<b>MissEris</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:50am<b>Puffpie</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 3:41am

Fucked!<b>cartermccarroll</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:14am

Zerizle's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Zerizle's badges

Zerizle's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to accidentally drop an entire cake on my laptop's keyboard. There's so much frosting stuck under the keys, I have no idea how I'm going to clean it out. FML

#21496938
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20418) - you deserved it (7035)

On 11/26/2015 at 2:57am - misc - by hating my life - United States

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

#21496534
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25519) - you deserved it (2649)

On 11/25/2015 at 1:00am - kids - by coolest_mom (woman) -

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

#21483245
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25545) - you deserved it (3564)

On 10/23/2015 at 12:05am - work - by Embarrassed ass. (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

#21482104
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24833) - you deserved it (10884)

On 10/20/2015 at 6:13am - love - by bubblewrap (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, my mom was watching me during my Taekwondo lessons. She was yelling at me to focus on my own work and to quit hanging out with the little kids. I'm the instructor. FML

#21474290
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25039) - you deserved it (1655)

On 09/29/2015 at 6:50pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

#21474273
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25064) - you deserved it (8644)

On 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm - work - by horp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He did it over Snapchat because he said he didn't want to hear me sad over the phone and wanted to save data. Three years down the drain. FML

#21474173
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27670) - you deserved it (2037)

On 09/29/2015 at 1:06pm - love - by Out of Ice Cream - United States

Today, at soccer, I repeatedly asked my coach for water as I was feeling light headed. His response every time was, "5 more minutes". Eventually, I got so dehydrated that I passed out. The first thing my coach said when I woke up was, "Why didn't you get some water?" FML

#21463299
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28711) - you deserved it (2558)

On 09/01/2015 at 7:07am - health - by Dehydrated - United States (North Carolina)

Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML

#21456522
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22807) - you deserved it (1931)

On 08/15/2015 at 11:16pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML

#21456100
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25944) - you deserved it (2388)

On 08/14/2015 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by maybe if i was paid like them i would (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

#21455978
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24199) - you deserved it (2209)

On 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Brooke (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML

#21455888
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22951) - you deserved it (9040)

On 08/14/2015 at 5:35am - work - by babbling idiot - Canada

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

#21455715
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25594) - you deserved it (2583)

On 08/13/2015 at 7:50pm - kids - by stressedmom36 - United States (Florida)

Today, a woman drove her car onto my closed worksite. Since it is hazardous for the general public, I told her to leave. Later, the police arrived and gave me hell. Apparently, I was reported for being "snippy". FML

#21455499
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25044) - you deserved it (1638)

On 08/13/2015 at 5:58am - work - by SteamLass765 (woman) -



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

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