Zerizle

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/06/2016 at 10:26pm)

Zerizle

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8036
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Zerizle's page activity

Visits<b>LonelyBoy5920</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 9:39pm<b>melons</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 2:16pm<b>bagelbaron</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 6:32am<b>Starksrule</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 9:38pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 4:24pm<b>ScarredVox92</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:06am<b>onlychildFTW</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 11:31am<b>cartermccarroll</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 3:13am<b>daken96</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:28pm<b>Sam_Dchi</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:30am<b>bc3091</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 9:53pm<b>jdhyche</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:09am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:23pm<b>Koolaidandtacos</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 5:36am<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:02am<b>ThePiGuy</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 10:59am<b>MissEris</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:50am<b>Puffpie</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 3:41am

Fucked!<b>cartermccarroll</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:14am

Zerizle's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Zerizle's badges

Zerizle's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to accidentally drop an entire cake on my laptop's keyboard. There's so much frosting stuck under the keys, I have no idea how I'm going to clean it out. FML

by hating my life / 11/26/2015 at 2:57am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

by coolest_mom / 11/25/2015 at 1:00am / Kids

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

by Embarrassed ass. / 10/23/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

by bubblewrap / 10/20/2015 at 6:13am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love

Today, my mom was watching me during my Taekwondo lessons. She was yelling at me to focus on my own work and to quit hanging out with the little kids. I'm the instructor. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2015 at 6:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

by horp / 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He did it over Snapchat because he said he didn't want to hear me sad over the phone and wanted to save data. Three years down the drain. FML

by Out of Ice Cream / 09/29/2015 at 1:06pm / United States / Love

Today, at soccer, I repeatedly asked my coach for water as I was feeling light headed. His response every time was, "5 more minutes". Eventually, I got so dehydrated that I passed out. The first thing my coach said when I woke up was, "Why didn't you get some water?" FML

by Dehydrated / 09/01/2015 at 7:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, after an 8-month wait, I went on my big vacation. The beach, the sea, the dive, the jellyfish, the allergic reaction, the hospital. FML

by Mush / 08/27/2015 at 12:42pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Miscellaneous

Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML

by anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 11:16pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML

by maybe if i was paid like them i would / 08/14/2015 at 6:42pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

by Brooke / 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML

by babbling idiot / 08/14/2015 at 5:35am / Canada / Work

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

by stressedmom36 / 08/13/2015 at 7:50pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, a woman drove her car onto my closed worksite. Since it is hazardous for the general public, I told her to leave. Later, the police arrived and gave me hell. Apparently, I was reported for being "snippy". FML

by SteamLass765 / 08/13/2015 at 5:58am / Work