About Zebrasofa13 : Showmehowtolive is my stray puppy.
CloudEnvy is my self-appointed loyal cow.
Of course I'm out of my mind; it's dark and scary in there.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
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Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (153937) - you deserved it (8636)
On 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm - money - by Sad (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12784) - you deserved it (51339)
On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)
Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wearing that shirt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46272) - you deserved it (8786)
On 04/17/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by woopwoop (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (550901) - you deserved it (35390)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML
I agree, your life sucks (176673) - you deserved it (19144)
On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (276735) - you deserved it (23325)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64666) - you deserved it (4218)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (438425) - you deserved it (71717)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was in my backyard scolding my cat. I yelled, "If you can't learn to use the bathroom correctly then I am going to leave your stupid butt out here in the snow until you figure it out!!" Later, my neighbor left me a nasty note about child abuse - she thought I was scolding my son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40353) - you deserved it (8763)
On 03/09/2009 at 9:16pm - kids - by flaggurl (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32953) - you deserved it (383256)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (204688) - you deserved it (40459)
On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (651827) - you deserved it (12063)
On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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