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Zebrasofa13

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Zebrasofa13
  • Town/Country : England/Germany
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 13 February 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 11882
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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Zebrasofa13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

#4274462
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46444) - you deserved it (6753)

On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was 'A man running'. I didn't even get an apology. FML

#4196733
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51917) - you deserved it (2034)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55307) - you deserved it (16742)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

#4043992
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55143) - you deserved it (5058)

On 07/26/2009 at 12:28am - love - by nosrepamai82 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

#3921342
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37821) - you deserved it (21920)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

#3649387
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9177) - you deserved it (34521)

On 07/10/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by jennyygrace - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63028) - you deserved it (37025)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

#2855395
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77003) - you deserved it (3480)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90644) - you deserved it (19051)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70144) - you deserved it (17111)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21274) - you deserved it (73238)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

#2282414
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16838) - you deserved it (31428)

On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by wordmalfunction (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML

#1901911
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57326) - you deserved it (4502)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by anon (man) - United States (Georgia)



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