About Zebrasofa13 : Showmehowtolive is my stray puppy.
CloudEnvy is my self-appointed loyal cow.
Of course I'm out of my mind; it's dark and scary in there.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
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Today, I finally got around to writing my Christmas cards. After finishing, I realized I had written "Happy Birthday" instead of "Merry Christmas" on every single one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7853) - you deserved it (25140)
On 12/20/2009 at 5:41pm - misc - by mannnnn2717 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37971) - you deserved it (3511)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:14am - love - by Catholicguy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13571) - you deserved it (20552)
On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)
Today, my furnace and all of my heating systems broke down. A fridge is 3 degrees Celsius; it is now 2 degrees Celsius in my house. I would be warmer in my fridge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24248) - you deserved it (1268)
On 12/12/2009 at 11:55am - health - by FrozenD - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I received my camera in the mail. I had sent it back to the company because it wouldn't turn on. As I was reading the note they put in, it said, "Battery was put in backwards. No other problems found." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3569) - you deserved it (29786)
On 12/09/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by her0x3her0ine617 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had an elderly man come to my cash register. His total came to $15.50 He handed me $5 in nickels and dimes. A full roll of quarters. Before I could take the roll, he bust it open, making me count it. After that was all counted he was 50 cents short. So he handed me a $10 bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28045) - you deserved it (1841)
On 12/04/2009 at 1:27am - work - by Chels (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38583) - you deserved it (2235)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)
Today, after burning all my past-papers, books and notes in celebration of finishing maths forever, I found out I have to re-take my maths exam to get the minimum grade for college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7473) - you deserved it (38488)
On 11/28/2009 at 5:16am - misc - by NickC - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48841) - you deserved it (2394)
On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61870) - you deserved it (9238)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18314) - you deserved it (10148)
On 11/21/2009 at 6:02pm - animals - by eyesightfail (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was at a zoo with some friends in Germany. People were talking to this bird and it responded in complete, grammatically correct German sentences. One of my friends said 'Wow, that bird has better grammar than the exchange student!' A bird speaks better German than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19259) - you deserved it (3429)
On 11/21/2009 at 7:19am - animals - by bird-brain (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11872) - you deserved it (20795)
On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - animals - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14470) - you deserved it (29940)
On 11/16/2009 at 2:32am - love - by Manstobe92 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my credit card number was stolen. The thief used it to purchase identity theft protection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (1674)
On 11/10/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 17 June 2013
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