About Zebrasofa13 : Showmehowtolive is my stray puppy.
CloudEnvy is my self-appointed loyal cow.
Of course I'm out of my mind; it's dark and scary in there.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
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Today, I witnessed a series of nude old people cycling in the city. I was eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28223) - you deserved it (3719)
On 08/15/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20871) - you deserved it (9257)
On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32918) - you deserved it (3697)
On 08/09/2010 at 3:07am - intimacy - by hard - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was cutting the grass on my riding mower. I spent a good 3 hours working on it. When I finished, I got off and went to take a look. It looked the same as when I started. I then realized that I hadn't lowered the mower part. I spent 3 hours just driving around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14026) - you deserved it (47972)
On 07/19/2010 at 4:48pm - misc - by Dumbfounded - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18162) - you deserved it (32099)
On 07/17/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25919) - you deserved it (5130)
On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22110) - you deserved it (5247)
On 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, an elderly lady swore at me for not holding a door open for her. The door in question was automatic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19069) - you deserved it (1426)
On 03/03/2010 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21930) - you deserved it (2280)
On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31797) - you deserved it (3031)
On 01/27/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by evil - United States (South Carolina)
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39498) - you deserved it (4288)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found my beloved hamster, Toofie. Toofie escaped from his cage. 4 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25908) - you deserved it (3405)
On 01/16/2010 at 4:36pm - animals - by riptoofie (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18186) - you deserved it (2550)
On 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24046) - you deserved it (6546)
On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70274) - you deserved it (3935)
On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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